I was on the phone with my niece Julie Rose Klam  last week and she was telling me that her mother, my sister Marcia told her that when kids were mean to her our mother would have a talk with the offending kid while squeezing them on the back of the neck and she had long nails.

I assured her that that was true.  My mother was tough and a little scary to us but if anyone from the outside world attacked us in any way she would protect us to the death

When I was young little girls wore dresses with ties at each side of the waist that you would make into a bow in the back.

I won’t get into the back story but one day the doorbell rang and my mother answered it. I stood next to her.

On our front stoop stood Annie Dooley, Teresa Russell and another girl, I forget who.

In a sing song voice holding up one of the ties from Annie’s dress they reported in unison;
“Mattie tore Annie’s dress”

I just stood there blankly.  My mother said, “I’ll speak to her” and closed the door.

She turned to me, patted me on the head and said “Good girl” and went about her business.

I wasn’t surprised. My mother always defended us to outsiders and Catholics.

Now on to present day and my new dilemma.

Someone has planted pansies all around the trees in my neighborhood.

I’ve been taking a lot of flack because these pansies have been planted exactly where Ray likes to pee.

As you know I’m not a strict disciplinarian and even if I were I read while I’m walking him so even if I wanted to dissuade him from doing his business there I don’t notice him doing it.

Well let me tell you, my fellow New Yorkers are not shy about voicing their opinions. I rarely end a walk without getting a tongue lashing from a stranger.

Occasionally I try to defend myself by asking them how they’d feel if they really had to pee and there was a toilet every 12 feet that they weren’t allowed to use?

I wish my mother was here. I’ll bet at least 40% of them are Catholics.