Now that I don’t have to keep a constant watch on the White House I can do some of the things that I’ve put on the back burner for 4 years.

I’ve decided to start speaking with an english accent and no it’s not because of Bridgerton.

This will be no mean feat. I’ve been told that I have a bit of a Bronx twang.

I’ve worked pretty hard to get rid of it without much success.

Well that’s not entirely true.

For example I would never say “youse” to less than 6 people any more.

I’m thinking pronunciation may give me a bit of a problem so I’ve wigged out a way around that.

I’m using a lot of British words like shant and blimey.

Never again will I “drop a deuce”.

From now on I shall “clock in at the loo”.

Or is it the lift?

Not that it matters. I don’t know any english people so I’ll just sound fancy to my friends here in the good old USA.

I’ve also been worrying about this thing with Lady Gaga’s dogs.

How do I know that there aren’t blokes (hear that?) itching for shrieky dogs that bite?

Maybe I should chip her. Not the one that I’d have with fish but the dog finding one.

Who wouldn’t want this bird? Get it? Bird not girl?