918. Ray’s Revenge

I did the New Years Eve equivalent of an old jews early bird dinner.

I celebrated last night.

Julie and Dan came over. We had cocktails and snacks (because I know how to entertain and you never go out to eat hungry unless someone you don’t care about is footing the bill) then we went to dinner at Chef Ho’s.

Since Julie and Dan are Ray’s favorite people he was ecstatic. He ran around the house getting all  of his ropes and toys to entertain them. More about this later.


We chatted and laughed, because that’s what we do.  After about an hour we had a nice buzz on so it was time to go to dinner.

I don’t want to criticize but I made an announcement that the minute I tell Ray we’re going we must all shoot out the door.

Don’t you know that I tell Ray “You stay” and look around only to notice that  Julie and I had our coats on but Mr. Dan chose that time to go to the bathroom.

This forced me to endure Ray’s stunned  face for what seemed like an hour while Dan apparently took the amount of time one would need to shower and shave and get a haircut to take a piss.

I knew I was going to pay for that and I did.

We had a wonderful dinner and loads of laughs. I almost forgot how I’d left things at home.

When I opened the door of my apartment my dog was on the couch covered with pillows. He looked up accusingly and put his head right down again.

No hello for me.

In fact I slept alone until about midnight when he decided I’d suffered enough and snuck his little hot body under the sheets.

He still was a little pissy this morning but I’m hoping we can have a fresh start in 2016.

Happy New Year everyone!


917. All Doggy News

I know you’ve all been waiting to see how Ray looks in his new sweater.

It’s been so warm that I didn’t want to make him less receptive to his new dud by stuffing him into it and making him sweat.

Today the temp hit a low of 38 so when we got dressed to go on our morning walk I got his new sweater out and put it on him before he could complain.

It would have been fine if the wall in the hall wasn’t mirrored.

He flatly refused to look at me.

wouldn't look

I put on his leash and we got into the elevator.  Still snubbing me.

snub me

But as soon as he hit the street and smelled all his favorite smells and saw the admiring glances that came his way he was his own self.

happy boy

See the jaunty turn of his ankle?

In other dog news……

David went on a date last night and the woman’s dog ate his glasses.

916. I live with the Grinch

Well someone had a Christmas tantrum today.

I bought him a new sweater and he wouldn’t even try it on.

“It’s too girly. It’s pink!!!”

I tried to tell him what my sister Marcia said when we picked it out. If you’re confident of your masculinity you can wear anything.

“It’s not pink! It’s salmon!   The Rock wears salmon. Just come out here and try it on”

He wouldn’t budge


Maybe you can tell me what’s “girly” about this sweater?girl sweater

915. Sweet wishes from a not so sweet girl

You’ll be glad to know that Captain Hugh is still kicking. 

When he missed Thanksgiving I was sure he’d met his maker but no.

He called his morning but his voice was so faint that I couldn’t understand him.

He’s going to have his niece call me back. I’m always happy to hear from him even though I do have to pay for the honor.

I got a birthday card from my ex sister in law Judy today. Since she’s the only person that sends me birthday cards so I’m dreading the day when someone tells her that dave and I are divorced.

I’ll have to make this short because I’m going to Julie’s to celebrate Santa’s coming.

Tomorrow Miss Liz has invited Julie and me to her house for Christmas so I really have this holiday covered.

Now to all the people who read this blog except for a few, you know who you are, I wish you all everything you wish for yourselves.

I am grateful to every person who comments on my blog except maybe the babe that called me a racist and the one who said because I mentioned Jesus that she hopes I burn in hell, not youse, but I wish the rest of you a Happy Holiday and a wonderful New Year!! 

914. Friends from another land, Mars.

I know you all miss David. I do too.

He made for an interesting blog.

He was certainly colorful. He was unapologetic about being who he is, a right wing, some kind of Catholic religion, I forget which one, gun owner.

I think he misses my writing about him too. I talk to him every day mostly and he tries to tell me something that he thinks I might want to write about.

Why just tonight he said that the local Houston paper had an article about how the workers from some City agency were asking to carry guns to work.

I explained that I write from the point of view of a New Yorker. We New Yorkers just assume that all Texans want to carry guns. It’s not news to us.

It’s like we wouldn’t be surprised if the devil wanted to do something mean.

But then he said something that did surprise me.

He was laughing his head off about Trump saying that Hillary was shlonged by Obama and I asked him if he would vote for Trump over Hillary.

“Of course” he said.

“All kidding aside, you would?”

“Shlonged?” and you could hear him rolling with laughter.

“David I’m serious. You aren’t stupid. You are one of the smartest stupid people I know. You really would vote for that idiot over Hillary?”

He wouldn’t stop laughing.

I let it go.

I didn’t want to know the answer.



913. If you have anything better to read pass on this because it’s boring.

I’ve decided I’m going to write more frequently.

It’s true that I don’t have much of anything to say but I figure that since no one is paying to read this I have no responsibility to entertain or even be interesting.

I’ll just ramble on like I do in real life.

Since I was a little girl this was my favorite time of year. I had a lot to look forward to.

First Thanksgiving, then Christmas/Chanukah, then my birthday. Later my anniversary and once Julie started joining me and dave for Valentine’s day that became good.

I still like Thanksgiving and November has become even better with visits from my Israeli family. Their entrance in my life has made me introduce Chanukah into this pretending that it’s as good as Christmas which any fool can tell  it isn’t.

Christmas will be good because I’ll be spending it with Julie and maybe Lizzie.

I don’t like my birthday any more under most circumstances because who likes to get older but this year two of my nieces , Stephanie and Laura, and their husbands are taking me to a fancy restaurant.

I’m trying to decide what to wear. Maybe the black. But the black is dressier. I have time to decide.

Anyway for obvious reasons my anniversary is not a high point in my life and as for Valentines day when Julie got married and stopped going to restaurants with me and dave and asking for “a romantic table for three”, that holiday took a nose dive.

Luckily I have this little bit of heaven.


Oh and for my birthday, please everyone give whatever you were going to spend on my gift to the homeless.

Just kidding. I need grey slacks .

912. Tis the season to be kind of jolly

I was just talking to Julie on the phone and saying that my career as a writer is at a stand still. I haven’t even written my blog for awhile because my life is so boring.

Then I realized that tonight is my building’s Christmas party so I could write about that. I hung up.

I go to the party every year. I am the absolute worst at parties. I hate making small talk and if I wanted to hang out with anyone in my building I’d probably know their names. I’ve only been living here since 1976.

For the past few years I went with David.

Each year I made him promise not to leave my side because as I just said I have no small talk ability but because he’s a real charm boat when it comes to talking to strangers as soon as we’d reach the lobby he dropped me like a hot potato, something that seems to be the story of my life.

So tonight I’m going alone. I’m having a drink now so my personality will be better.

I will probably talk to my friend Jeffrey who’s always nice to me and then I’ll wander over to my super and his wife. I really like them but they may not be that crazy about me any more because every time I see their little kids in the lobby I tell them that their parents are buying them ponies for Christmas.

The party will start in about 22 minutes. I think I won’t post this until I come home.

I’ll take a few photos so you will get a peek of the festivities.

I’m back. It’s 7:02. I left the apartment at 6:41.

I ate dinner and took some pictures.


get-attachment-2My Super, Lester

get-attachment-4My Super’s wife, Alba

get-attachment-5A kid that’s going to be so disappointed on Christmas morning. I hope he didn’t ask Santa for hay.

get-attachment-3His sister. I hope she’s smarter than the boy.

911. Long distant friendships.

Thanksgiving has come and gone and no call from Captain Hugh.

This can’t be good. Even if he forgets an occasional Soup Day he never misses the majors. If I don’t hear from him at Christmas I’ll really be sad.

It’s quiet here. Cheryl has gone home and though Lizzie was in town for a few days she is leaving tomorrow.

Last night David and I spent time sharing a phone call while we had a cocktail. Mostly we spoke about President Obama. I got him going by saying I hope he puts through a Presidential order eliminating those repeating guns and tightening gun laws.

Naturally he tells me he can’t wait to get a handgun so he can carry it all over like a schmuck. I hope he shoots his foot off.

He keeps in touch with me because he can’t find anyone in Texas that doesn’t think he’s aces and there’s nothing he likes better than some idealistic banter. Since he and Liz aren’t together any more I’m the only one he knows with any ideals at all.

He is making some friends though. He sent me a photo of some of them.


The women in the picture are all attractive and one of them spent the last 15 years in LA so clearly she still has a brain. I hope he stays away from her and sticks with the lifers from Texas.

I’m torn about encouraging him to pursue any of these women because even though I’d like him to be happy and move on, knowing what a piece of shit he is I feel that I am betraying women kind by taking any part in their destruction. And a relationship with him if she even has one liberal bone will result in her moral demise.

It’s not easy missing someone you hate.


910. The folly of trying to put one over on me

I have no business writing this blog now because I have too much to do.

I have to pay my bills.

My nephew Brian thinks that’s all I ever do but it’s more stressful since dave got hacked and someone stole his social security check. I have much less money to pay for stuff until this is straightened out.

Luckily I have the voice of an angel so a few hours of singing in the subway with my niece Violet playing the ukelele should more than make up for that short fall.

Cheryl is still here.

I don’t see her much during the day because she closes herself in the guest room working on her book.

I love her very much but it isn’t all candy and roses having her here. The bad part is that she’s here so often that she’s comfortable enough to be bossy.

We went out to dinner last night and we both had steak. There were leftovers so I advised the waiter to wrap it up for the dog.

I thought Cheryl would blow a gasket.

“You are not giving that steak to Ray!” (Did you see the exclamation point at the end of that sentence? Because there were about six of them in the air when she said it)

We got home and Ray was resting before his late night snack (which he had every reason to expect because he knew I had been to a restaurant) and I caught Cheryl whispering threats to him daring him to go near the “doggy bag” in the refrigerator with a mean smile on her face. I believe she even had shreds of meat in her teeth to taunt him.

Cheryl n Ray

Like I said “sweet” Cheryl has some thorns on her.

She does try to be helpful though. Today she emptied the dishwasher. I wonder how long she has to be here before she gets “GLASSES ON THE RIGHT, CUPS ON THE LEFT”

Am I sounding too critical? I hope not. I love her like crazy and so does Ray because we both know that she has to sleep some time and when she does my little boy will chow down on that steak.

In fact….. maybe he already has.