Let’s start with last night.

As you know I don’t have many friends.

I can’t really say why. I’m pretty delightful.

Anyway back to what I was saying. I can’t be that choosy so when a friend is disgusting and shallow and crappy I stay mum.

I won’t mention the name of the person I’m talking about because I wouldn’t want to hurt David’s feelings.

Many evenings at about 5 o’clock he calls me and we have cocktails together.

Last night he said that he was expecting a call from the richest man in Australia so he may have to hang up.

Why is he calling you?

A mutual friend of ours just died and he wants to commiserate with me because we are both truly saddened by this.

Then he says “While I have him on the phone I’m going to bring up a really good deal that I’m sure he’d want to invest in.”

“Are you nuts?” I suggest. “You can’t do that. This is the a call of sympathy not business”

“That’s what I thought too but I figured out a way to bring it up. I’ll say that Frank’s (we’ll call him Frank) dying words were. “Be sure and tell Clark (we’ll call him Clark) about that great investment David has”. He loved us both and and I guess he wouldn’t want you to miss out on a sure thing”

Mum

Then I watched one minute of the Debate.

I immediately turned it off and watched an old episode of ‘Psych’ to clean my brain.

As if things couldn’t be worse they turned the a/c off in my building.

About 5 years ago I gave my Super my standing air conditioner because I was afraid that the landlord would find out I had it.

It cost about $300 but did I ask him to pay a penny? No because I am a giver.

This morning I take my sweaty self and Debby out for a walk and as I pass the lobby my Super’s wife, who is our doorwoman is on the house phone and she stops me and says “Lester wants to talk to you. Oh he doesn’t want to talk to you he just wants me to tell you that it’s too chilly in his office.”

I just walk away refusing to take the bait.

That is for about a minute.

Then I continued my walk thinking that my day had to get better.

I was walking across 57th Street when a young woman WITHOUT A MASK pointed to my BLM shirt and said “That’s a terrorist organization”.

She walked away before I could educate her with a “Put on a mask cuntface” when I decided to be open minded.

Maybe she’s right. I have noticed several Black peopled hurting cop’s knees with their necks. And there have been untold stories about Black people stealing much needed police bullets in their bodies.

I walked home a shadow of the person that left my apartment and just as I was arriving home a pretty old woman walking hand in hand with her husband said “Good for you” to me.

I still need a little zen

The other day my sister Marcia fell down and sprained her ankle.

She was at the doctor today having her eyeball fixed (removal of band aid after cataract surgery) and the nurse looked at her ankle which was still bruised and said “I’d have your doctor look at that”

She repeated this to me and said “That is so stupid. What’s he gonna say? You sprained your ankle?”

We hung up and I mulled this over for awhile.

If that same thing had happened to me I would have lain awake for a few nights tossing and turning and screaming into my pillow so as to not wake Debby.

Finally I would call my friend Susan to tell her I have foot cancer.

Susan would sympathize with me and tell me she’s sure that I don’t have it (even though she would be sure I do) and give me several suggestions of what it could be, a tick bite or something.

Then we’d swap symptoms of reasons why we both have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

Of course I wouldn’t go to the doctor because I hate bad news and even if I did go to the doctor I would lie.

If he was any kind of doctor I wouldn’t have to give him a bunch of clues for him to make a diagnosis.

Don’t ask what would happen if I had a headache.

Maybe this will calm me down.

Why? Because too many things are expected of you.

You must be smart, kind, fleet of foot and dare I say spunky.

You must also be diplomatic and have grace under fire.

I don’t like to brag but I have all those things so if you move here I am what you should aim to be.

I’ll give you an example.

About a week ago my Super Lester asked to enter my apartment since either the apartment above or below me had a bad leak and he would need to go though MY wall to fix it.

I must remind you that for a NYC apartment dweller the people of importance in your life are your immediate family, close friends and right before either of them is your Super.

So when Lester said he needed to do this I graciously agreed.

Now remember, I don’t have a leak. MY floors are dry as a bone and I couldn’t pick the people above or below me in a line up but because I have at times been called ‘saintly’ I gave the go ahead to my dear Super who I’ve needed in the past and may need again one of these days.

Also I’m kind of walking on eggshells with him for calling him a pussy when he was changing my light fixture. These latinos can hold a grudge.

So he went about making a giant hole in my wall. Well maybe not giant but not so little either.

He worked on it all day and when he left he covered it with some plastic shit.

A few days passed and I decided to text him a little nudge

I gave him a bit more time before my second little hint was sent to him.

Still patient I gave him a small heads up.

In answer to my question of did he know when he’s closing the hole he did say “yes”

So he does know. I, however, don’t.

Now Zen

lester fixing my sink, not the hole.

Does it sound like I’ve run out of things to talk about?

Kee-rect.

I almost never leave my house.

That’s not entirely true.

I always walk my dog. I always go somewhere with Julie when she’s willing to see me.

And I did leave the house to go to my friend Susan’s birthday because , well because my personality has gotten so lousy that I can’t afford to lose any friends.

I read something on either Twitter or Facebook that even if Biden wins and trump goes to jail we still have about 40% of the USA that are racists and homophobes and the rest of that shit.

I was born in 1944.

I saluted the flag in school.

I grew up in a protected environment that thought that being Jewish was good. I was the best kind of Jewish. We celebrated Christmas not religiously but presenty and my sister Marcia always got me an Easter basket.

During the 50’s and 60’s I demonstrated for racial equality and against the war.

I remember going to a demonstration at Bryant Park and Mary Travers and the Mayor of NYC joined in. That convinced me that I was on the right side of history.

Streamers of support flew out of the office buildings on 42nd Street as we walked home.

I looked around and though I wasn’t happy with the government I felt that America was still the greatest country in the world and the people were basically good.

Remember I’m seeing this from my own vantage point.

Now I’m 76.

I’m keeping my promise of wearing my Black Lives Matter shirts every day, except for weddings or bar mitzvahs, until I either die or I don’t have to.

I’m pretty sure that the die thing will probably come first

See here’s the difference between me at 18 and me at 76.

I no longer believe in America.

I thought the only way trump will win a second term, he’s already talking about a third term, would be by cheating.

I’m not so sure any more.

I see all those Senators that did nothing to stop him no matter how horribly or ILLEGALLY he behaved.

I see people in the country, more than just a few, cheering for him even when he is proven to be incompetent and lying.

I’m thinking that even if he loses he’s preparing Ivanka or don jr. to follow him in 2024.

I have a little hope for the youth but we were young once and we didn’t really change much even though we thought we did.

Did I cheer you up?

Maybe this will make you feel better.