976. The Life of Pie

I had a wonderful birthday weekend. I spent it in Newtown, Connecticut.

Friday night my nieces Stephanie and Laura and their husbands Terry and Mark took me to dinner at a fancy restaurant.

I’ve told you about them before.

Stephanie is the mean one and Laura is beyond sweet.

Unfortunately I had hurt Laura’s feeling last week when I posted a picture of a guy eating a pizza on the subway with a note that he looked just like Laura with a false mustache and a wig. (see photo)


She sent me 2 WTF’S? in response.

Clearly either due to my advancing age or the fact that when she was about 4  I made the guy stop a ride at an amusement park when she started to cry, she decided to either forgive me or prove me wrong by showing up at the fancy restaurant like this;


She also saw my delight at Gesine’s sympathy pie so not wanting to be outdone she baked me a pie for my birthday.

laura pie

Note the heart in the middle.

I gotta tell you I wasn’t at all unhappy about pie being my go to gift from now on. *

On the way home from the restaurant I wondered aloud how I’d get the pie home on Sunday.

I’d come up by train due to the inclement weather.

“Not to worry” Steph said “I’m making dinner tomorrow night and Laura and Mark are coming. We’ll have it for dessert”

I thought it was a little presumptuous of her but it was reasonable and I can barely squeeze into my pants as is.

So I feigned agreement and said “Good idea”

The next afternoon Stephanie was busy wth her horses and donkeys and the pie was on the counter for all to admire.

Terry and I were particularly drawn to it.

Terry: “Do you think we can have a piece?”

“Sure. It’s my pie.” and I cut a sliver for myself.

Then Terry started taking bites from the pie itself.



Unbeknownst to us Steph had come into the kitchen.

She picked up the pie and said,

“That pie is for dinner. Now I’m going to hide it and tonight when we are all having pie you two can just sit there and watch us enjoy it. I was going to put a birthday candle on it too but now that’s not happening”

I mumbled something about it being my pie but she stormed out without a word taking my birthday gift with her.

I looked at Terry.

He just shrugged and said “I’m sure she didn’t mean that”

My only answer was  “She’s my blood but you chose her”.

That evening after cocktails and dinner it was time for dessert.

She brought the pie into the kitchen from its hiding place and asked.

“Who hasn’t already had pie?”

Terry raised his hand with Laura and Mark.

I, being a person of honor, sat with my hand down mumbling for about the fortieth time that day.

“It’s my pie.”

Steph, knowing what a liar her husband is gave herself, Laura and Mark each a piece of pie.

Only at Laura’s objections, I told you she’s the sweet one, did Steph reluctantly give Terry and me a slice.

I know that she wasn’t happy at having to back down because she said under her breath to me,

“You still didn’t get a candle and I’m eating the heart”

And she popped the beautiful loving heart that Laura put in the middle of the pie in her mouth.


(Thank you to all  those who contributed to my birthday charity, Sandy Hook Promise. I did reach my goal of $200)

*Thanks GB Prado!

975. I may not be sane enough to get another dog.

Ray was pretty much perfect.

He slept most of the time. He was totally trained. He wouldn’t think of going in the house under any circumstances .

He wasn’t even that crazy about me for the first year. Except for bedtime he pretty much ignored me.

This changed eventually. He really loved me and liked keeping me in his sight as much as possible.

Yet when I went out he went into a deep sleep and didn’t get up until I shook him awake. He wasn’t even that happy to see me. He just seemed to like that the status quo had returned to normal

Still knowing all this I rarely left the house without him. If I had to I’d bundle all the things I needed to do in one trip and do without if I couldn’t manage that.

Though totally trained I left my terrace door open for him 24/7 in all weather. and I mean all weather no matter how much my guests and family complained.

When they did I’d simply explain that if he felt he wanted to go to the bathroom I didn’t want him to feel stressed.

This cold snap we’re having now wouldn’t have effected that at all.

I’ve always been this way.

I had a basset hound named Jenny when I was about 9. If I was in a room with Jenny  and she was sleeping no matter what my need, hunger, thirst, peeing,  I’d stay put until she woke up on her own because I knew that if I moved she’d be disturbed.

I had another basset hound named Norman in my twenties. I was living with my parents then and I slept in a single bed.

It used to irritate my father because Normie liked sleeping across the middle of the bed and I’d be crunched up at the top.

Then I had a mutt named Harry for 14 years. I don’t have to tell you how he controlled me.

So things are weird now.

I went to the supermarket yesterday and started shopping the way I always did. Picking up everything I’d want for the foreseeable future when I remembered that I could go out as often as I needed to so I put most of the things back.

I feel guilty because one of the things i’m feeling is free.

I’m going to visit my sister next week by train because she lives upstate and the roads aren’t that good.

I would have had to drive if Ray were here  but I guess I just wouldn’t go. He hated car rides and a 5 hour trip would have been unbearable.

Still my apartment is kind of soulless now.

I realize if I get another dog I will have to change. You know, not be crazy.

But what’re the chances of that?

My ideal dog would obviously be a rescue.  He or she could be on the older side, 7 or so. I’m no spring chicken.

I’d like him/her to be tiny to fit in a bag so i could take it with me a lot.

I’d kind of prefer silky skin because i like kissing.

I’d like it to be Jewish so I wouldn’t have to do all that Christmas crap.

I wouldn’t mind if it was a miniature frankfurter dog or one that looks something like this