Ray was pretty much perfect.

He slept most of the time. He was totally trained. He wouldn’t think of going in the house under any circumstances .

He wasn’t even that crazy about me for the first year. Except for bedtime he pretty much ignored me.

This changed eventually. He really loved me and liked keeping me in his sight as much as possible.

Yet when I went out he went into a deep sleep and didn’t get up until I shook him awake. He wasn’t even that happy to see me. He just seemed to like that the status quo had returned to normal

Still knowing all this I rarely left the house without him. If I had to I’d bundle all the things I needed to do in one trip and do without if I couldn’t manage that.

Though totally trained I left my terrace door open for him 24/7 in all weather. and I mean all weather no matter how much my guests and family complained.

When they did I’d simply explain that if he felt he wanted to go to the bathroom I didn’t want him to feel stressed.

This cold snap we’re having now wouldn’t have effected that at all.

I’ve always been this way.

I had a basset hound named Jenny when I was about 9. If I was in a room with Jenny  and she was sleeping no matter what my need, hunger, thirst, peeing,  I’d stay put until she woke up on her own because I knew that if I moved she’d be disturbed.

I had another basset hound named Norman in my twenties. I was living with my parents then and I slept in a single bed.

It used to irritate my father because Normie liked sleeping across the middle of the bed and I’d be crunched up at the top.

Then I had a mutt named Harry for 14 years. I don’t have to tell you how he controlled me.

So things are weird now.

I went to the supermarket yesterday and started shopping the way I always did. Picking up everything I’d want for the foreseeable future when I remembered that I could go out as often as I needed to so I put most of the things back.

I feel guilty because one of the things i’m feeling is free.

I’m going to visit my sister next week by train because she lives upstate and the roads aren’t that good.

I would have had to drive if Ray were here  but I guess I just wouldn’t go. He hated car rides and a 5 hour trip would have been unbearable.

Still my apartment is kind of soulless now.

I realize if I get another dog I will have to change. You know, not be crazy.

But what’re the chances of that?

My ideal dog would obviously be a rescue.  He or she could be on the older side, 7 or so. I’m no spring chicken.

I’d like him/her to be tiny to fit in a bag so i could take it with me a lot.

I’d kind of prefer silky skin because i like kissing.

I’d like it to be Jewish so I wouldn’t have to do all that Christmas crap.

I wouldn’t mind if it was a miniature frankfurter dog or one that looks something like this