As you know my niece Julie Rose Klam is homebound with a foot injury.

I’ve been spending quite a bit of time waiting on her hand and (heh heh) foot.

Now here’s the part that will astound you and make you wonder if we are truly related.

SHE HAS NO ACTUAL TV.

Oh she has the box but since it’s not connected to cable it’s uses are limited.

Anyway that gives us plenty of time to chat.

On Tuesday I mentioned that I suffer from thumb joint pain obviously as a result of arthritis.

Now you people know me. I’m not a complainer.

Possibly I will mention serious stuff like my new 49″ TV being so small that I had to return it for a 55″ or that no one should have to live with a knife wound or ugly shoes but just stuff like that.

One would think that Julie being incapacitated herself would be more sympathetic to other sufferers.

Yet my screaming “ouchy magouchy my thumb is killing me” over and over got nothing more than stony silence from her.

At this time I will call attention to her foot that has an ice bag on it like in a Donald Duck cartoon.

How do you think she got the ice?

You guessed it. I clearly empathy skips a generation.

Oh back to the TV injury.

I figured out that that’s my remote thumb.

Every silver lining has a cloud around it.

I certainly did but one member of my household did not.

Not all of my family was here but enough came so that I had a great time. It’s so good to look around the room and love everyone you see.

We only had 20 for dinner this year.

We laughed and talked and just did it up. I can show you some photos that prove my point.

See? A real fun group.

I’m not a nitpicker but it seems to me that when so many people are sharing a space said people should use some consideration when it comes to making room for others.

Now if you notice Julie took up several spots on the couch. I guess I can’t blame her what with the foot thing but she does seem to be milking it.

And as long as she wasn’t using those crutches possibly she could have found a more convenient place to put them.

Also maybe you can explain this because I can’t.

Sure she got to stretch out but there was not seat in the manger for someone whose house it is.

And to make matters worse his usual pal/ bed was overtaken by his cousin Brian.

Ever forgiving the next day, after everyone left, Ray asked me to invite Matt, Lara and Pixie over for dinner.

Ray was just about to show us his new fart on command trick when Pixie jumps up and steals his thunder.

He had had enough.  Though usually mild mannered he finally had to show his displeasure.

Maybe next year a few people will have to give thanks someplace else.

As I mentioned, my nephew Yitzhak, nee Eric, came on his yearly visit from Israel.

He comes to see all of us and to pray at his mother’s grave.

Last year he brought nine of his ten children. This year a measly 3 and a grandchild. My sister Marcia drove over 5 hours so she could see them.

They spent a few days with me and then took a short trip to Washington DC, which is about 5 hours from my house.

When he came back he said he was so impressed that Marcia drove down to see them because he found the drive to DC difficult.

“You don’t drive long distances in Israel?”

“If I drove 5 hours in Israel I’d be in Lebanon.”

When they arrived in DC he called to let me know that they had arrived safely. They had parked the car and were off to the Holocaust Museum.

“Sounds like fun. Enjoy.”

It wasn’t all sight seeing. They were also able to visited some Klam cousins

Plus they worked at fitting in by

1. Lazing by the pool

and 2. demonstrating for the public good

They’ve returned to Israel but their American relatives miss them every day.

Now I don’t know if I’ve told you this before. I probably have but tough, all old people repeat themselves a lot.

When they come to my house they won’t eat off my plates, touch my food or use any of my cooking utensils so I have a big plastic bag filled with kosher stuff that I keep behind my couch when they aren’t here.

After they left I picked up the bag and was badly stabbed by a knife sticking out of the bag.

Now most people stabbed like that with a wound that clearly needed stitches or at least a sling would have asked for an ambulance but my dedication to family made me ignore my suffering and go to the aid of Julie who had life and death foot surgery the day before.

Over I went to care for her.

What I didn’t know was that I was risking my own survival in carrying her around her apartment, spoon feeding her plus doing general cleaning and light dusting.

In a short time my wound opened up and I was forced to bandage it up so that I wouldn’t lose too much blood.

(man do I need some moisturizer on my arms)

This was made worse because Julie told me that Ann Leary said that as you get older you lose fat in the only place you really want it, on the bottom of your feet.

Not only was I suffering from a blood loss which clearly resulted in light headedness, bleary eyesight and all around not goodness but I also was well on my way to bone bottom feet.

In spite of all this I soldiered on.

I don’t like to speak ill of the wounded but I asked Julie about 6 times where she keeps her slings and it was greeted by stony silence.

I just hope I can recover sufficiently to host my usual Thanksgiving dinner.

This year it’s for 20.

I think it’s 20. Being stabbed has played havoc with my memory.

I just read your comment:

“Always liked this blog.
But lately it stopped being updated
Hope this is only temporary.”

Well, Warren, if I may call you Warren, you can blame Donald Trump and the NRA on my not writing as much.

I try to make my blog amusing but I am having some trouble thinking of anything funny to say and when I do something shitty happens so it goes on the back burner.

But if you get any pleasure in what I write I will try to do better.

My malaise began about a year ago when Stephanie and Terry spent the night at my house and Terry referred to my 46″ TV as “crappy”.

Look I’m not a person that holds on to an insult but as you know I need my TV to be in tip top shape because the “Housewives” close ups can be very unforgiving and since I spend the majority of my life studying them….. well you can guess why this  bugged me.

However I’m a woman alone without a lot of discretionary money so I just sucked it up.

Finally I decided to bite the bullet and look into a new SMART TV.

I bumped into my Super, Lester, and asked him if he knew anything about TVs. Luckily for me he did.

He was sitting at my computer going through my options when Julie dropped in.

“Why’s Lester sitting at your computer?”

“He’s helping me pick out a TV”

“Why?”

“Because he’s my Super”

My Super doesn’t help me buy a TV”

“Well you live on the west side”

So back to the TV discussion.

Lester finds the perfect TV for me.

“What size?” he asks

“49 inch”

“You really have room for a “55”

“That’s too big. My room isn’t that big”

“I have a 55 inch TV. Come down to my house and look at it.”

“No. I think 49 inches is plenty.”

“You’re making a mistake but okay”

The TV arrived 2 days later.  Lester came up, took my old TV away and connected my new TV.

All that night and the next day I watched my TV but something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Then it came to me. It was too small.

The damn thing looked like a postage stamp.

I called Amazon and arranged to return it and get the 55 inch TV.

Lester was up in my apartment packing up the old/new TV and installing my perfect TV while I harangued him about pushing me into buying that teeny piece of shit in the first place when Julie called.

We were on speaker phone and Julie did the unthinkable. She sided with Lester. Not something I will forgive any time soon.

My family is here from Israel. They pray all the time. I asked my nephew to slip in a thank you to “you know who” for my great TV.

Because it is great!!!!

I just re read this blog. It is so boring that I owe you, Warren, an apology. Maybe I’m just rusty and I’ll get better.

We shall see.