951. I’m too old to be alive

Let me explain.

My great nephew Jordan came to visit with a friend. I was really happy because he lives far away and I don’t get to spend time with him very often.

They were in New York City to go to a concert in Brooklyn.

When they were about to leave Jordan reminded his friend to bring his ear plugs.

Ear plugs? To a concert?

I was able to get an answer to my puzzlement the next morning.

They explained that the music is too loud for them to bear without the plugs.

“But it’s music. You are blocking out any subtlety in the sound. What’s the  point of hearing live music?”

Clearly I didn’t get it.

“Did anyone else bring ear plugs?”

“Oh sure, almost everyone.At least 50% of the people”

But I don’t want you readers to think I’m totally out of touch. I do realize that there is a difference between how I live in the world and how young people do it.

For example;

My sister and I are going to Italy in a few weeks. My nephew Scott used to stay here to mind Ray but since I heard him agree with Stephanie that Ray was not “all there” he is no longer my first choice.

As I might have mentioned I am very close to my Super and his wife Alba and they are both dog lovers.

Alba said her son and two nephews with her overseeing it will take turns staying in my apartment while I’m away.

I have spoken to all three boys and told them that as long as they are nice to my dog I don’t care if they have hookers here or run a meth lab.

Just to make sure I meant it one of them asked if hookers were okay.

I told him “It’s fine with me as long as while you’re doing whatever you’re doing with them at the same time you’re reaching down and petting my dog.

But I digress.

Remember when I told you that one of my nieces asked me what my calculator was and screamed with laughter when she realized it not only was an adding machine but it was plugged in?

Well it was for that reason that I bought a Mr. Coffee so that my dog sitters would be able to make coffee since I had a Farberware coffee pot and there is no way they’d know how to use it.

coffee pot

When I explained that to Jordan and his friend over breakfast they both looked at me blankly.

“That’s a coffee pot?”

“You saw me pour coffee out of it. What did you think it was?”

Jordan; “I thought it was a pitcher to keep the coffee hot”

This went on and on. I won’t bore you with hows stupid they were and how out of touch I was.

But they are cute aren’t they?



950. The Tide Has Turned

Ever since the election I haven’t been myself PLUS all this week I had a cold.

(I know you think this will be a downer but wait)

At 6:15 this morning Ray started barking.

Normally I would just drag myself up and take him out because I am on this earth to serve him.

But for some reason today I mumbled “Gimme a break” and he did.

He jumped right back into bed and went to sleep.

At about 7:30 I woke up on my own and took him out.

THEN I found a dime in the elevator.

I know a better person would have turned it in so the rightful owner could retrieve it but I popped it into my pocket.

I am a woman alone who lives on a budget and this dime could enable me to buy an ice cream cone in 1945 (at least that’s how I rationalized it).

I no sooner hit the street when I noticed one of those guys who works for the Doe Fund* cleaning the streets trying to pull his hood up, it was raining.

Feeling a little guilty about the dime thing I said “Let me help you” and reached around, unzipped his hood and pulled it up over his head. He gave me a big smile.

Feeling really good about myself I decided to make this a teaching moment.

“You must always appreciate Jewish women because they never mind their own business and sometimes it comes in handy.”

He nodded sagely. I could see he was taking it in.

My new attitude of “giving back” (you know the dime windfall) made me think of a discussion I had had with Tammy Gordon.

“Who is Tammy?” you ask.

She is someone I met on Facebook. I’ve never actually met her in person.

When my husband dave ran away I took to writing my blog expecting only my family and friends to read it.

Much to my surprise Tammy, who worked for AARP then, liked it and encouraged me.

When I wanted to submit something to the AARP Magazine I asked her who I should send it to. She not only gave me the names but spoke to people at the magazine to smooth my path.

It turned out they hated everything I wrote and told me that they just don’t include that kind of thing in their mag.

And this after I removed all the fucks and threw commas hither and yon to make it seem intellectual.

Well a few years passed. Tammy left AARP and I think she started her own something but we’ve kept in touch via FB.

Earlier this year she asked if she could rent my Montauk house for a vacation.

I remembered how important her liking my blog was to me. It was the first thing that made me think that I don’t need dave to be creative.

I insisted that she go to the house free if it was before the season when I rent it which she did this past week.

Here she is enjoying herself;


And here’s her dog Ike lying on Ray’s pillow:


Why am I telling you all this? Oh yeah, the pay back thing.

Because Tammy wanted to send me a gift to thank me for letting her use my house which I told her was stupid because I’m letting her use my house to thank her for helping me with AARP and if she gives me a gift I have to thank her for for the gift and it will never end.

My friend Susan Schlossberg Schwartzberg and I hate when people do us favors because we feel so unentitled that if someone picks up a check for dinner we feel like we have to buy them a car.

I just read this over and it doesn’t make any sense but I think today is lucky so when it stops raining I’m going to buy a lottery ticket in case Tammy sends me a gift so I will be able to send her to Europe in return.

  • https://www.doe.org/  This is a wonderful organization


    I’ve seen these guys in my neighborhood for as long as I can remember. They are hard working and friendly.  In these disgusting times they can certainly use your donation