11/27/20 Still way too much information.

As I might have told you my nephew Jim is coming today to connect my new magic toilet which promises to make toilet paper a thing of the past while polishing my nails and combing my hair.

Since Jim is by trade a lawyer I thought I’d give him a little help by preparing his workspace by removing the old toilet seat.

No mean feat. However since I have a BA in Fine Arts I felt I could handle it.

The screws holding it on just wouldn’t budge so I figured giving them a few hard whacks with a wrench would do the trick.

No dice.

However I did notice quite a bit of water coming out of that big thing that the toilet is attached to.

It being Sunday I knew I couldn’t ask my Super to come up and save the day….or could I?

I sent him a text.

“I know you’re not working today but my toilet is really leaking”

He immediately answered “Yikes I’ll be right up”

Even though I was wearing heavy nightclothes I did change into my street attire because as you know I had promised him to always be properly dressed in case I drop dead so he wouldn’t have to see me naked.

When he came in I explained what had happened.

“Do you think I broke the toilet?”

“Probably”

Can you fix it so that my nephew can put on the new one?”

“I’ll put the new one on”

And he proceeded to do just that.

Before he started I made him watch the video with connection instructions.

I could see he wasn’t really paying attention.

Luckily I had hired someone to help him since this clearly wasn’t a one man job.

Remember when I said that he wasn’t really paying attention to the instructions?

It clearly said that when you test it water might squirt out of the toilet

Your
Zen today is the following video.

Oops

I took a movie of my super Lester getting squirted in the face when he tested the toilet proving that he didn’t give that training video the attention it deserved but it didn’t come out so you’ll just have to settle with another photo of Debby where she is resting after a hard days work.

11/20/20 Why my family is excellent

My niece Stephanie has a pond on her property.

She was walking near said pond when she saw a snake tangled up in the kind of netting that goes around onions.

Even though she agrees with all if us that snakes are icky, she picked up the snake and tried to untangle it.

All this while her 3 dogs were jumping up on her and barking for a snake snack.

She got most of the netting off when the ungrateful snake bit her and she dropped it.

It slithered away (ick) into the pond.

I know what you’re thinking.

“She is so proud because her niece saved a snake hence the title of this blog.”

Wrong.

Yes I was impressed and proud of Stephanie.

Because of this I recounted the story to the rest of the family.

A few days later my other niece Julie sent Steph a text:

“Oh Steph, I sent you a present, did you get it ? It was wrapped in a fruit bag by your pond.”

So I wrote to Steph

“Julie’s text made me laugh and laugh”

And Steph wrote back:

“I know. And when I read only the first sentence I got so excited that she got me a present I couldn’t figure out how she deposited in my pond. Hysterical”

I know it’s a small thing but for some reason That snake story has really hit me as perfect.

I wake up in the middle of the night and start laughing at even the idea of sending someone a snake as a gift.

I’m so lucky and now so are you because….Zen

11/10/20 Now that I can breathe again…

I’m starting to do some of the things that I couldn’t do while hiding under my bed.

It started on Saturday when I was walking Debby and I heard the Star Spangled Banner coming out of someone’s window.

I started crying then and I’m almost finished crying now so I am dipping my toe into life once again.

On a slightly personal level falling under TMI, ever since I saw Stephanie’s toilet that practically gives you a bath every time you use it. I wanted it.

Now that I have reentered the world of the living and joy is permitted back in my life I decided to get one.

My sweet nephew Jimmy said that if I order it he’ll connect it.

So on Amazon I go.

It was all going fine until they asked if my toilet was long or round.

It looked pretty round but it could have been long.

What to do.What to do.

Now who could I ask?

It could only be my super, Lester.

But from my huge knowledge of Latin men, how could I bring up the subject of toilets without him thinking it was a come on?

I’m a woman alone so I have to be careful.

I finally hit on it.

I sent him a text.

“Is my toilet round or long? I’m asking for a friend.”

Luckily he bought it. After asking me to send him a picture of my toilet he assured me it was round.

I also bought a new computer that I can’t work at all.

Still my angst at this is nothing like what I was feeling under my bed.

Double Zen