Normally I’d be having lunch with my bff’s Susan and Ronny and dinner with a bunch of my family.
But not today.
Still I woke up to a lovely gift from Georgia.
I had a Call from Stephanie with a song. She followed it up with “How old are you anyway?”
“Whoa, that’s old” she said
Then Julie called and sang and reminded me that I have the same birthday as Eric trump.
So that’s it for answering my phone.
So I guess I’ll just have a Covid birthday.
Have breakfast, walk my dog, watch the hot parts of Bridgerton a few times and finish the day with the melodious voice of vice president pense declaring that Joe Biden is the next President of the United States.
As you all know I have always been a strict Bravo fan.
I love all the Housewives and any other show that Bravo has to offer with a special affection for Reunions.
Well a new show has come into my repertoire.
But first, a bit of background.
My niece and nephew and their 2 daughters from Annapolis came to spend 3 days with me this week.
They were all tested before the trip.
A fine time was had by all.
My niece, Cheryl, has come alone many times because she is a writer and her agent is here in New York.
Because she frequently stays longer than she says she’s going to stay because as she says “She’s no trouble” we have worked out a routine.
She writes all day and we watch TV every night, usually movies.
On this trip most of the family kept themselves busy while she and I fell into our usual pattern.
We decided to watch the first episode of “Bridgerton”.
Interestingly enough it so held our interest that we watched the entire series. This took a bit more than 6 hours.
Come the next night one or two parts were not perfectly clear to us so we decided to watch it again. Since we didn’t have 6 hours to spare we decided to pare it down by limiting any scene that didn’t have the Duke in it.
We very cleverly cut our TV watching time to about an hour and a half.
Come the next night both Cheryl and I still had some unanswered questions about the plot. We realized that it wouldn’t be prudent to go away with a lack of knowledge about those historical times but the family was starting to get ugly. I believe they wanted dinner or something.
By pretending that we were hanging curtains in my bedroom we were able to really cut our Bridgerton time down to about 21 minutes by fast forwarding any scene that didn’t have the Duke’s shirt off.
I just hope that watching all this historical drama doesn’t make me sort of a nerd.
As a special end of the year gift to youse I am having 3 photos of Debby in my Zen, One with my nephew Brian. One with my niece Cheryl and one in her stunning new snow suit.
We got a little lost on the way thanks to my sister calling us thereby making us miss 9 exits.
But I digress. Julie and I are always happy to spend time together. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing.
Anyway the day went swimmingly. We laughed and talked and bought everything we needed .
I hope my family won’t read this because since I live alone and everything you buy there comes in either vats or cases they can expect bottles of Clorox or cans of pinto beans for their next few birthdays.
Anyway I get home feeling pretty good and if I do say so myself looking fine with my knee length hair up in a bun and the smile on my face that only comes with having enough batteries to light up the Brooklyn Bridge.
I get in the elevator and a man gets in with me. I permit it because he’s wearing a mask as am I.
The door closes and he says to me “I’m assuming you’ll be one of the first people to get the vaccine. Will you take it?”
He might as well have said “Would you mind pushing your wrinkles aside so I can get to the button for my floor?”
I didn’t want to show any reaction.
Since I am quite a good actress I’m quite sure he bought my explanation for my sobs that they were for the fact that Costco was out of tube socks.
Maybe this Zen picture of Debby half asleep will cheer me up.
As I might have told you my nephew Jim is coming today to connect my new magic toilet which promises to make toilet paper a thing of the past while polishing my nails and combing my hair.
Since Jim is by trade a lawyer I thought I’d give him a little help by preparing his workspace by removing the old toilet seat.
No mean feat. However since I have a BA in Fine Arts I felt I could handle it.
The screws holding it on just wouldn’t budge so I figured giving them a few hard whacks with a wrench would do the trick.
However I did notice quite a bit of water coming out of that big thing that the toilet is attached to.
It being Sunday I knew I couldn’t ask my Super to come up and save the day….or could I?
I sent him a text.
“I know you’re not working today but my toilet is really leaking”
He immediately answered “Yikes I’ll be right up”
Even though I was wearing heavy nightclothes I did change into my street attire because as you know I had promised him to always be properly dressed in case I drop dead so he wouldn’t have to see me naked.
When he came in I explained what had happened.
“Do you think I broke the toilet?”
Can you fix it so that my nephew can put on the new one?”
“I’ll put the new one on”
And he proceeded to do just that.
Before he started I made him watch the video with connection instructions.
I could see he wasn’t really paying attention.
Luckily I had hired someone to help him since this clearly wasn’t a one man job.
Remember when I said that he wasn’t really paying attention to the instructions?
It clearly said that when you test it water might squirt out of the toilet
Your Zen today is the following video.
I took a movie of my super Lester getting squirted in the face when he tested the toilet proving that he didn’t give that training video the attention it deserved but it didn’t come out so you’ll just have to settle with another photo of Debby where she is resting after a hard days work.
As you know David is a Republican, gun owner who has been known to be bigoted and is just generally shitty.
He also is one of my best friends.
I’ve noticed a few chinks in his crap armor though.
In spite of the fact that the only thing he holds dear is the economy, he didn’t vote for trump last time and he won’t vote for him this time.
Although he’s considered himself a Texan for as long as I’ve known him (embracing everything lousy about that State) and considered New Yorkers well, not his style when he moved to Texas a few years ago he realized that he was more of a New Yorker than he thought and he moved back this year.
This Covid thing has knocked him for a loop though. He was telling me that he feels isolated and somewhat depressed being in alone so much.
Here’s where I have to pat myself on the back even though as you know that’s very hard for me.
“What you need is a dog! It will get you out and there will be someone who’s glad to see you when you get home”
Which is something I myself can’t imagine that happening much in his life.
He brightened up immediately.
You’re right! I will get a rescue dog.
And he got right on it.
To encourage him I sent him a dog bed for his birthday, telling him that the dog will probably sleep in his bed.
To which he replied “Well that ain’t happening!!”
Now let’s move forward.
Yesterday he picked up Minnie. I can’t exactly say what she is. It looks like someone threw everything doglike in a pot and out came Minnie.
I had told David that it would probably take her awhile to get settledl
David, Minnie and I zoomed last night and her tail was almost wagging off.
She’s already made him her person.
BTW here’s where she slept last night.
He acted tough though.
He sent me this saying:
“No luck getting into her bed. I’ll get medieval on her ass tomorrow night “
David will be sleeping in that dog bed before Minnie will.
Anyway back to what I was saying. I can’t be that choosy so when a friend is disgusting and shallow and crappy I stay mum.
I won’t mention the name of the person I’m talking about because I wouldn’t want to hurt David’s feelings.
Many evenings at about 5 o’clock he calls me and we have cocktails together.
Last night he said that he was expecting a call from the richest man in Australia so he may have to hang up.
Why is he calling you?
A mutual friend of ours just died and he wants to commiserate with me because we are both truly saddened by this.
Then he says “While I have him on the phone I’m going to bring up a really good deal that I’m sure he’d want to invest in.”
“Are you nuts?” I suggest. “You can’t do that. This is the a call of sympathy not business”
“That’s what I thought too but I figured out a way to bring it up. I’ll say that Frank’s (we’ll call him Frank) dying words were. “Be sure and tell Clark (we’ll call him Clark) about that great investment David has”. He loved us both and and I guess he wouldn’t want you to miss out on a sure thing”
Then I watched one minute of the Debate.
I immediately turned it off and watched an old episode of ‘Psych’ to clean my brain.
As if things couldn’t be worse they turned the a/c off in my building.
About 5 years ago I gave my Super my standing air conditioner because I was afraid that the landlord would find out I had it.
It cost about $300 but did I ask him to pay a penny? No because I am a giver.
This morning I take my sweaty self and Debby out for a walk and as I pass the lobby my Super’s wife, who is our doorwoman is on the house phone and she stops me and says “Lester wants to talk to you. Oh he doesn’t want to talk to you he just wants me to tell you that it’s too chilly in his office.”
I just walk away refusing to take the bait.
That is for about a minute.
Then I continued my walk thinking that my day had to get better.
I was walking across 57th Street when a young woman WITHOUT A MASK pointed to my BLM shirt and said “That’s a terrorist organization”.
She walked away before I could educate her with a “Put on a mask cuntface” when I decided to be open minded.
Maybe she’s right. I have noticed several Black peopled hurting cop’s knees with their necks. And there have been untold stories about Black people stealing much needed police bullets in their bodies.
I walked home a shadow of the person that left my apartment and just as I was arriving home a pretty old woman walking hand in hand with her husband said “Good for you” to me.