This summer I rented our Montauk house to what I thought were 3 couples and turned out to be 10 to 15 thirty somethings.
Monday my sister and I went out to see if my house was still standing.
It was and except for leaving a bikini that wouldn’t cover anyone’s tushie hanging in the closet , everything was fine.
I think I’ll deduct $10 from their security for that. Maybe not. I’ll probably wear it so I can work on my tan.
Since Miss Liz was home from Santa Fe and Marcia and I wanted to ” do the town” (I think that’s the term the kids use) I asked her to mind Ray for me.
As her way of thanking me for giving her the opportunity to really get to know him she kept me apprised of how he was doing.
Email #1
Lil’ F*cker (our pet name for Ramon) had grilled ribeye steak for dinner and he’s about to have his walk. Lots of naps and farts.
Hope you and Marcia are having a lovely time.
xoxo
#2
Lil’ F*cker almost ate a Yorkie! I was so embarrassed I dropped the leash and walked away. “Nope, never seen this dog before in my life.”
It’s taken us an hour to walk around the block and still no poop. He seems unable to make right turns. We’ll go left around the block in the morning. Yes, he’ll sleep in his bed in my house.
#3
Re: Where’s Lil’ F*cker’s canned food?
(She meant her dog Rupert)
#4
Re: He ate the fancy stuff
While I wasn’t looking. 🐒
#5
We just had a lovely walk and Ramon made a nice doody. He almost took out a cute Westie and a sweet puppy. He just loves other dogs, doesn’t he? He stands on his hind legs baring his teeth and waving his paws in the air. I was asked several times if he was friendly. Really?! They can’t tell?!
#6
We’re having lots of fun. It’s cocktail hour and it’s time for yank the rope.(SEE NOTE) Get your mind out of the gutter! To be honest, I think he might be happier sleeping at your house because I put him in there when I went out to lunch and found him later sound asleep under your covers with the tv on. I take him out first thing for his walk and get my first cup of coffee from the cart across the street. Then I drag him down the street, trying to avoid the PETA patrol. I can’t believe that I’ve even taken to reading a book during our walks. Now, I understand.
NOTE: Ray brings his toy, a rope with knots in it, drops it at your feet and barks incessantly until you pick up one end so he can pull your arm out of the socket by yanking on the other end.
BTW: I wasn’t happy about him spending the night alone so….
#7
Ramon is fine. We left the terrace door open for him and he slept on his bed in our room. He had a long walk this morning and now he’s snuggled under the couch pillows.
If you have good help you can have a relaxing time on your vacation.
67 and dumped 