951. Another beautiful NYC story

I was walking Ray in the rain this morning.

As I came around the corner of 59th and Third I noticed a beautiful young girl on crutches standing under an eave. She had a broken foot or something, nothing permanent.

I looked at her and put my bottom lip out as if to say “Awww, you poor thing”

She half laughed and said “And do you believe I can’t even get a fuckin’ cab?”

I laughed with her and went on my way.

It wasn’t until I got upstairs that I realized what an insensitive shit I was.

Why didn’t I get her a cab?

She was even standing on the wrong side of the street to hail one because that was a ‘right turn only’ lane. She’d be waiting there for a long time.

I gave a great deal of thought to this whole incident.

That was a true New York story because New Yorkers make short extremely close contact with strangers and then go back to their own lives. So I was behaving true to form.

Or I would have if what I wrote above was exactly true.

In fact I was only about 20 feet past her when I asked myself why I hadn’t offered to get her a cab and I just shrugged and said to myself

“Who am I Mother Teresa? It’s pouring’ out here. Let’er get her own fuckin’ cab”

950 Dog Sittin’

This summer I rented our Montauk house to what I thought were 3 couples and turned out to be 10 to 15 thirty somethings.

Monday my sister and I went out to see if my house was still standing.

It was and except for leaving a bikini that wouldn’t cover anyone’s tushie hanging in the closet , everything was fine.

I think I’ll deduct $10 from their security for that.  Maybe not. I’ll probably wear it so I can work on my tan.

Since Miss Liz was home from Santa Fe and Marcia and I wanted to ” do the town” (I think that’s the term the kids use) I asked her to mind Ray for me.

As her way of thanking me for giving her the opportunity to really get to know him she kept me apprised of how he was doing.

Email #1

Lil’ F*cker (our pet name for Ramon) had grilled ribeye steak for dinner and he’s about to have his walk. Lots of naps and farts.

Hope you and Marcia are having a lovely time.


Lil’ F*cker almost ate a Yorkie! I was so embarrassed I dropped the leash and walked away. “Nope, never seen this dog before in my life.”

It’s taken us an hour to walk around the block and still no poop. He seems unable to make right turns. We’ll go left around the block in the morning. Yes, he’ll sleep in his bed in my house.

Re: Where’s Lil’ F*cker’s canned food?
He had steak last night. I gave him some fancy Whole Foods gourmet canned dog food and he’s turning his nose up. He’s VERY high maintenance…just like a little redhead we used to know and love. xoxo
(She meant her dog Rupert)
Re: He ate the fancy stuff
While I wasn’t looking. 🐒
We just had a lovely walk and Ramon made a nice doody. He almost took out a cute Westie and a sweet puppy. He just loves other dogs, doesn’t he? He stands on his hind legs baring his teeth and waving his paws in the air. I was asked several times if he was friendly. Really?! They can’t tell?!
We’re having lots of fun. It’s cocktail hour and it’s time for yank the rope.(SEE NOTE) Get your mind out of the gutter! To be honest, I think he might be happier sleeping at your house because I put him in there when I went out to lunch and found him later sound asleep under your covers with the tv on. I take him out first thing for his walk and get my first cup of coffee from the cart across the street. Then I drag him down the street, trying to avoid the PETA patrol. I can’t believe that I’ve even taken to reading a book during our walks. Now, I understand.
NOTE: Ray brings his toy, a rope with knots in it, drops it at your feet and barks incessantly until you pick up one end so he can pull your arm out of the socket by yanking on the other end.
BTW: I wasn’t happy about him spending the night alone so….
Ramon is fine. We left the terrace door open for him and he slept on his bed in our room. He had a long walk this morning and now he’s snuggled under the couch pillows.
If you have good help you can have a relaxing time on your vacation.

949. The political climate is puzzling me.

This morning I read that the dislike for Hillary is equal to the dislike for Trump.


This scares me more than Trump’s crap. How can you compare the two?

Is it because she’s a strong woman? Even Bill doesn’t get that level of vitriol aimed at him.

It can’t be because she’s a Democrat because if you mention Joe Biden there is none of that venom. That’s also true of any other male Democrat. Well maybe not Obama but we all know why he doesn’t fit the mold.

It’s really a puzzlement.

I decided to interview David, the only Republican I know well. I’m hoping he can give me some insight into this.

To tell you the truth I’m not hopeful. He’s really smart yet he’s embraced stuff that only the stupidest people believe.

Obama isn’t American.

Obama will go down as the worst President ever.

Obama is responsible for the racial divide in this country.

And his stupidest, that Obama pronounces Koran the way a terrorist would.

He’s also says Hillary is a crook and a liar.

I’m waiting for him to call back so I can pin him down on some facts to back this shit up.

He called back.

He’s almost too much of an idiot to quote.

He says Obama is responsible for the division between the parties. Not the religious right, Obama.

The Clinton Foundation is a fraud.

He was stuttering trying to come up with why Hillary is such a crook. According to him she’s in bed with the Ruskies. I guess via emails.

I finally asked him.

“Doesn’t the fact that she’s been a dedicated civil servant as an adult and even as a young girl worked to better the lives of others soften your stance on her at all?”

“Mattie, you know my answer to that. Of course not”

In the plus column he feels Trump is crazy and he won’t vote for him.

At least that’s what he says.