7/21/22. I wonder if you do this….

What with Covid etc I have quite a lot of extra time.

I spend much of that time thinking about my most wonderful traits.

I kinda think that on the top of that list and the thing that makes me a welcome guest and neighbor is my ability not only to not mind my own business but correct the person’s business that I’m minding.

Why just yesterday I walked 3 loooong avenues with a printer that I was returning to the UPS store.

Don’t worry it was in a shopping cart.

But that didn’t make me any less hot and cranky.

I get to the store.

There’s a short line inside that I properly join.

While I’m waiting I notice an old man with a walker standing outside.

A young man comes along and holds the door open for him.

The old man shakes his head so the young man starts to go in the UPS store.

The old man began to yell “What are you doing? I was here first”

The young man said “But I thought you weren’t going in”

The old man screamed “I was waiting for the store to be less crowded.”

I should note here that it is a small store and I have seen people waiting outside but there was plenty of room on that day.

The UPS shouts “Either come in or stay out but close the door”

So they both come in.

The old man keeps yelling at the young man and the young man keeps trying to placate him.

This is going on for way to long.

At this point I shout “Enough”

Silence reigns.

See? I made my little corner of the world a better place.

I just reread this and realized it’s beyond boring.

I was going to add a few more instances but they weren’t any better.

The time I threatened to kill a man if he said one more word to me in the bagel store when he told me I was in the wrong line because I was hurrying to pick up my father at the airport doesn’t really fit because that was my business.

I don’t know if I should put on my thinking cap or just end this with Debby.

7/13/22 Being dumb is a full time job

Here’s one of the problems of having a smart family.

You have to pretend you aren’t dumb.

You see a smart family likes to think they’re all smart. They get real embarrassed if your dumbness sneaks out.

So the smartest thing I do is keep my dumbness under wraps.

I’ll give you an example.

I mainly watch reality shows.

Now you get to be invested in these people and often have opinions on their actions.

I read yesterday that Steve and Noi from Married At First Sight are getting a divorce. I had plenty to say about that.

I tried to comment on “All About The Tea” that “Steve really dodged a bullet” but it wouldn’t let me.

I feel safe commenting on sites like this because the smart people in my family wouldn’t touch those sites with a ten foot pole.

Still each time I try to write on one of these sites I use a pseudonym as part of my cover .

Here’s where the dumbness comes in. I never can remember what name I used so I keep getting a message “That email has been used with another name” and they don’t let me comment.

So without my help Noi will go on thinking that she’s not a jerk and Steve will wonder where he failed

I’ll be back in a minute. I have to walk Debby.

Mission accomplished.

Attack passing dog

And taking care of business

BTW Twitter wouldn’t let me call trump fuckface.

7/2/22. You think you know someone…

I’m talking about my cousin’s kids.

I see some of them but mostly as grown ups I only know them through family rare get togethers (funerals) where we rarely talk.

I also know them though Facebook or Instagram.

Remember these are the KIDS of my cousins, who by the way I adore, who are not that interested in knowing me that much either.

Let me give you an example.

My cousin Barbara’s kid Mike.

I’ve mentioned Barbara Gips. She’s the one who wrote “In space no one can hear you scream”.

Now I follow Mike on FB. He is always posting pictures of himself all tired after some grueling sports activity.

I’d comment something creepy like “Hubba hubba”.

I never knew what Mike did for a living. I thought he did something musclie. Like ran a bowling alley or bent steel.

Then lo and behold he sent me an article he wrote for the Washingtonian called “The Spy In My Basement”.

It turns out Mike is some kind of spy specialist and he really does have like a Seal Team 6 type spy living in his basement.

So I figure if he does run a bowling alley it’s probably a cover so he can catch commies.

Luckily I do know someone quite well

Although who knows what she does when I’m sleeping.

Finding pieces of hot dog in my bed could be some kind of spy signal.