1000. Ah kids, they’re really dumb.

One of the good things about having a big family is that you can always have people you love visiting you.

Last night my nephew Jacob and his sweet girlfriend Rachel slept over.


After a few little bites on Jacob Debby welcomed them with open paws.

They are both  leaving for college this week so I guess they wanted to squeeze a little something out of the Big Apple before starting that journey.

I tried to give them both some encouraging words. I explained that after college life goes down rapidly and they will probably never have  fun again so enjoy it.

When Jacob was a little boy he met David who showed him his knives and told him about all the guns he had.

Though he, Jacob, was no longer interested in either of those he had a memory of David being a scream so when I told him I had plans with David for dinner he wanted to come with us.

I said he could but added that he must be aware that David is a terrible person with a level of maturity that stopped at the age Jacob was when last he met him.

And my man David didn’t disappoint. He entered the apartment waving his umbrella in front of Debby which did not sit well with her at all.

We had cocktails and chatted while Debby snarled and pulled to bite him.  David threatened to kill her in one breath and in the other begged me to put her on the other side of me so she couldn’t eat him, something that she was dying to do.

We finally went to the restaurant that David picked because he wanted  Peking duck.

Now I am prepared to take abuse because I am a hypocrite. So have at it.

I eat some meats but I do not want to know from whence they came.

This restaurant served the duck with it’s head on!

Rachel and I almost puked.

No duck for us and now duck is on my no eat list along with pig and lamb soon to be followed by beef.

And BTW the rest of the food stunk too. Feel free to IM me if you want the name of the restaurant.

Again David didn’t disappoint. He regaled the kids with stories of his life dropping an occasional racial or gender slur and wound up the evening with some horrible stories that I will save you all by not repeating.

I told the kids right in front of David while he looked on proudly, “Remember I warned you. He’s the worst person I know”.

Not to change the subject but I think I’ll change the subject.

I do want to say one thing about age. Sometimes it hits you in the face when you least expect it.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if Jacob and Rachel didn’t know who John Wayne was or even Frank Sinatra.

But these two had no idea who NSYNC is.

That ain’t right.


999. I don’t mean to brag but…..

Look, I know that I haven’t written in awhile but maybe I have more on my plate than usual.

My dog Debbie is really settling in. Now she only bites people at first meeting. Then….sweet as sugar.

I’m having a party next month and I’m a little nervous.  I hope there aren’t any litigious people coming.

Also Liz sold her apartment to a man who called me and Liz losers so I’m thinkin’ that he’s not gonna be a “live and let live” kinda guy.

I had gotten used to Debbie hiding food in my bed but this morning I found a piece of cucumber in my shoe. I hope I can live with that.

But enough complaining.

Last week I accidentally put my phone in a glass of water and the speaker part stopped working so I bought a new phone.

Don’t ask why I put it there. It was very late and I thought I was hanging it up. And let’s see if you don’t strange things when you’re 74.

Well the new phone arrived yesterday.  I opened the box and what did I see????

A WHITE PHONE!! The most beautiful phone I ever saw.  Of course in my youth you could get princess phones in any color but that hasn’t been the case since..I don’t know…FOREVER.


I’m sure that while you’re admiring my beautiful phone and being yes, a little jealous, you’re making snotty remarks about my coffee pot to take the sting off your poor sportsmanship.

Well my old lady coffee pot keeps my coffee hot all day. That is if I left it on all day what with me putting my phone in a glass of water shows that it’s more than likely I will.

But take THAT losers!!!