I know you look to me for all the answers

Particularly on the subject of pets and their training.

My dog training school was only closed due to 6 or more of you neglecting to read the fine print re: non refundable deposits.

Your notifying my sister and threatening to beat me up was uncalled for and made it necessary for me to change the location of my school which I will do in the near future.

Anyway, back to my current situation.

Yesterday I drove my niece Julie, the kindest girl in the world, to New Jersey to pick up a sad little dog that will need medical attention and a new home.

The meeting place was at a McDonald’s in Fort Lee.

We got there early so I decided to pick up some dinner for myself and Debby.

This happens to be the Debster’s favorite food.

when we got home I removed the pickle and the cut up her cheeseburger.

Come morning I go into the kitchen and find this….

In the living room I find this

A dog going through the garbage, not news.

BUT… also in the kitchen..

I’d like to mention that the pink bowl has a cut up cheeseburger in it.

I tried to question her but she pretended I wasn’t even speaking

Maybe youse can figure it out.

Anyway Happy Birthday in heaven Mom. I love you.

If you were here I’d ask for your advice but my dog Norman uses to hide a meatball behind her bedroom curtain when we’d visit so that he’d have a snack next time we came back.

I’m driving up with Julie.

I haven’t been there for a long time because 1.I almost never leave my house and 2. There are snakes there.

(#2 is just an excuse. Not one snake has said a word to me and I’m getting crazier and crazier about leaving my apartment.)

Debby is not coming because she gets car sick and she would try to kill my sister’s dogs.

I am therefore paying someone she loves to stay at my house while I’m away.

Now here’s something kind of interesting. One of my sister’s friends who reads my blog wants to meet me.

THIS I CAN NOT ALLOW TO HAPPEN.

It can only end in disappointment

There are quite a few reasons for this.

Firstly any pictures of myself on social media, facebook, Twitter before I cancelled it etc were taken in the late 80’s.

So that’s gonna be a shock.

Also I have a terrible personality.

Oh I can write up a storm and sound like I’m a laugh a minute but in the flesh….nope.

I have no ability for small talk or even large talk.

If I see a gap in conversation I’m liable to just try to fill it with something nutty.

An example of this was many years ago my then husband and I were at a party and he introduced me to the wife of his favorite music teacher.

She smiled and said “David spent so many happy evenings at our house when he was in college”

Now what would you say to that?

“Oh how nice”? or “That must have been fun”?

Not “I hope he didn’t steal anything”

Man the look on her face.

“Oh no no of course he didn’t” and then she sidled away.

If you ask me why I said that I have no answer. It just flew out of my mouth.

Sometimes I’ll do something that I think is funny but isn’t to anyone else.

Like when I was saying good bye to the assistant to the conductor of the Boston Symphony who had played an arrangement of a John Lennon tune that my husband had written after John’s death.

I put a dollar in her hand and said “Tell the Maestro we really enjoyed it.”

No one thought that was funny.

Anyway I think I’ll let my sister’s friend just think of me as that 30 year old with a quick wit.

And now for your enjoyment…