I know this will be very disappointing to the people that sent me the $125 advance for my virtual dog training extravaganza but I must cancel.
This is as painful to me as I’m sure it is to you.
It seems that I have not only totally failed in training my own dog but I think she’s gotten worse since we became mostly homebound.
For example she no longer waits until I’m finished to eat off my plate.
Plus she’s taken to howling whenever I’m not paying attention to her or doing exactly what she wants.
For this reason I’ve had to stop some of my previous activities because the neighbors have been threatening to call the police because they think I’m hurting her.
And with my Black Lives Matter shirts having a visit from the police is a no no.
It seems that brushing my teeth irritates her no end. I’ve had to cut that out.
She also has put a kibosh on any TV show or movie with Adam Sandler in it. So I can forget the hilarity of “Grown ups”.
And why she doesn’t want me to take her on walks without wearing a hat I have no idea.
So you see dear people that until I can get my house in order I have no right to teach.
True, only 19 of you have actually sent me money and I wish I could return it but if you listen to the virtual contract carefully you’ll see that in appendix IV, I say, under my breath and in latin (the pig type), that “down payments are not refundable”.
So sorry but anyway I can send you Zen at no cost.
At least I think she will still allow it.