967 Dear Warren and What’s New

I just read your comment:

“Always liked this blog.
But lately it stopped being updated
Hope this is only temporary.”

Well, Warren, if I may call you Warren, you can blame Donald Trump and the NRA on my not writing as much.

I try to make my blog amusing but I am having some trouble thinking of anything funny to say and when I do something shitty happens so it goes on the back burner.

But if you get any pleasure in what I write I will try to do better.

My malaise began about a year ago when Stephanie and Terry spent the night at my house and Terry referred to my 46″ TV as “crappy”.

Look I’m not a person that holds on to an insult but as you know I need my TV to be in tip top shape because the “Housewives” close ups can be very unforgiving and since I spend the majority of my life studying them….. well you can guess why this  bugged me.

However I’m a woman alone without a lot of discretionary money so I just sucked it up.

Finally I decided to bite the bullet and look into a new SMART TV.

I bumped into my Super, Lester, and asked him if he knew anything about TVs. Luckily for me he did.

He was sitting at my computer going through my options when Julie dropped in.

“Why’s Lester sitting at your computer?”

“He’s helping me pick out a TV”

“Why?”

“Because he’s my Super”

My Super doesn’t help me buy a TV”

“Well you live on the west side”

So back to the TV discussion.

Lester finds the perfect TV for me.

“What size?” he asks

“49 inch”

“You really have room for a “55”

“That’s too big. My room isn’t that big”

“I have a 55 inch TV. Come down to my house and look at it.”

“No. I think 49 inches is plenty.”

“You’re making a mistake but okay”

The TV arrived 2 days later.  Lester came up, took my old TV away and connected my new TV.

All that night and the next day I watched my TV but something wasn’t right. I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Then it came to me. It was too small.

The damn thing looked like a postage stamp.

I called Amazon and arranged to return it and get the 55 inch TV.

Lester was up in my apartment packing up the old/new TV and installing my perfect TV while I harangued him about pushing me into buying that teeny piece of shit in the first place when Julie called.

We were on speaker phone and Julie did the unthinkable. She sided with Lester. Not something I will forgive any time soon.

My family is here from Israel. They pray all the time. I asked my nephew to slip in a thank you to “you know who” for my great TV.

Because it is great!!!!

I just re read this blog. It is so boring that I owe you, Warren, an apology. Maybe I’m just rusty and I’ll get better.

We shall see.

 

17 thoughts on “967 Dear Warren and What’s New

  1. Dear Mattie,
    I’m anxious too and I’m not even American. So I’m happy to wait for your blog posts for as long as you need to wait to create them. They buck me up for days. This week I had a really wonderful experience. I live in Halifax, Nova Scotia ( I just moved here in late February) We have a wonderful new library and several times a month, authors come to speak. Although I missed his talk, I did manage to have coffee with Alexander McCall Smith ( The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency and other books) on Thursday. I was having lunch with a friend and she recognised him. In a very unCanadian move, she went over to say hello and he invited himself to come and join us. I almost lost my mind. At 69, he is on a book tour and after leaving Canada, he was heading to NYC. I’m not sure of the date but if you might like to hear some funny stories and forget,( if only for a few moments) that jerk who is the president, I highly recommend a listen. Thanks for writing your blog. I love it. xxoo
    Louise

  2. Actually I’ve been very worried about you due to the dearth of posts. Seeing you back, brandishing your terrific chops again, has gladdened my heart. How come this post is numbered 697 when the previous one is 966? Please take care of yourself and kiss Ray a million times.

  3. This subject and observation is so timely, we have been going back and forth as to why we get TVs that are too small. In reality the 46 should be perfect, but when you have housewife closeups and roque spaceships, bigger is not only better, but the best ever. Thank you. Mandatory dinner reading for the family.

  4. Delighted to see a blog post notification for one of your pieces arrive in my email. Each of your posts entertains me. Maybe the latest election results buoyed you a bit? They gave me hope. There seem to be enough good people willing to do something. Love and kisses to you and to Julie. xo.

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