Sometimes you forget that the man that you married is still in there.
I had written a whole post about him getting his teeth fixed now so I would have to pay half. I was really feeling self righteous because I’m trying to cut corners everywhere.
Well that’s not the case. He’s paying for his teeth.
He also has been asking me for loans from my father’s money to tide him over until we can divide the pension.I’ve been giving them to him but I keep worrying that he’ll go to Japan and won’t pay me back.
Today he said he doesn’t want me to lose money by selling stuff so he wants to pay me interest. I would never take interest from him and I told him so.
It’s so much easier when he’s cold and thoughtless and I can pretend that I’m not losing anything because the man I loved isn’t there but he is there. He just loves someone else.
This is making me really sad. Plus I’m so worried about his health. None of his tests are back yet.
One good thing is that he has stopped drinking. He says he hasn’t had a drink since last Thursday.
He’s really great when he isn’t drinking. It will be much harder to say good bye to that man.
67 and dumped 
Damn it, if only people who did such incredibly jerky things were jerks all the time. I think the fact that you can still see the good in dave shows what kind of person you are.
By the way, I love the titles of your posts. Crazy funny…and clever.
Tammy
Thanks Hippiechick
I wish I knew what kind of person I am.
I love that you appreciate my titles.
mattie
It’s never about ‘the other person’ any shrink will tell you that…….Dave’s a great guy maybe if he stays off the sauce he will realize what he has done and maybe stop doing it. Love, Lew
What Hippiechick said. (I have it on good source that she’s pretty smart, so I’m comfortable saying that.) Sometimes it takes a tragedy to wake people up. It doesn’t mean that they wake up for us, or even that they stay awake, but that’s sadly what it takes sometimes. You’re still you, and we see you. Your family obviously sees you much better. Trust them until it feels safe to trust yourself again.
thank you Michael