I had an unpleasant incident, mostly because I behaved like a loser.
I was leaving the building to go to Julie’s house for dinner .
One of my neighbors was in the lobby talking to the doorman. When he saw me he gave a “one minute” sign to the doorman and came over to me. He leaned forward and in a conspiratorial tone he said “I saw dave”
I figured he meant coming out of he building the day before but then he said “on 34th St.”
Here comes my loser #1 statement, “with her?”
I followed it up with loser statement #2 “How old was she?”. I saw the doorman look down. He really likes me and he clearly felt sorry for me.
The neighbor started patting himself on the back telling me how perceptive he is and though he’s not gay he can read people like a woman. He completed his thought without answering my question “I didn’t like her” .
He looked at me knowingly as if I gave a good shit whether he liked her or not.
“And she looked like she didn’t trust him” “How could he have left you for her”
I realized I had done enough damage to my self respect and I just nodded and left.
By the way dinner was delicious.
Mattie, I know how much it hurts, but it will get better and you will realize that the rest of your life will be better now than it would have been otherwise. Hard to believe but true.