771. Talk about a close call

Last night Liz’s childhood friend, Andrea was visiting with David.

This morning David told me that while she was there the people from the third apartment on the floor came over and invited all of us to a party that they were having the next night, tonight.

David said he wasn’t anxious to go but he might stop by for a drink “to be neighborly” and to ” spread his charm”. I said I had no interest in going mainly because the only contact I’ve ever have with the wife is when she runs screaming down the hall every time she sees me carrying Elvis over to David’s.

That pretty much tabled it until Andrea sent an email to me and David “Anybody feel like going to that party?”

David answered “WTF sure”

I wrote back that I’d be uncomfortable going because they never invited me personally. Andrea wrote back “They definitely did. I saw them knocking on your door but you weren’t home. Anyway they clearly invited me and I’m bringing my two friends.”

My response “I don’t know if I’m going but come on over and you, me and David will have cocktails and we can decide then”

“Okay but if we’ll have to bring wine or something so I can pick it up on my way over”

“Don’t bother, I must have some third rate vino we can bring.” (I’m getting pretty attractive as a guest now huh?)

Then David chimes in that we can’t bring cheap wine because it reflects on him. Like the fact that he calls them Amish when they’re french doesn’t.

There were 6 or 7 more emails on the subject but then we settled on getting together at 6:30.

A little later David called and said he was going to Home Depot, did I want to come with him. I had mentioned earlier that I’d like to go.

“I don’t think so. I was going to take a shower.”

“They aren’t mutually exclusive you know. You could do both”

“Okay I’ll come”

I know this is really boring but hang in there.

At Home Depot I noticed that he was buying  lots of heavy things. “Why didn’t you say you were getting all that. We could have brought a cart.”

“Why do you think I asked you to come with me”

We lug all his shit home and as we get off the elevator at our floor we see the woman from the party apartment and we give her a very friendly wave.

She walks over and says “I hope my husband told you. We’re having some friends over tonight and I hope we don’t disturb you.”

“No problem, no problem” we both mumble and close David’s door behind us.

We just stared at each other thinking of their faces when the three of us walked into their sit down dinner, wine in hand, all dressed up.

And just to show that there was no miscommunication, after waiting for our neighbor to go inside I slunk (?)back to my house only to find the following on my door


I was planning on wearing my good black.




5 thoughts on “771. Talk about a close call

  1. The French are very formal. I think that handwritten note is the American way of saying KEGGER IN 18-C! PLEASE COME AND BRING YOUR FRIENDS.

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