Don’t anybody talk to me I’m in a really bad mood.
I was supposed to go to Brooklyn and play with my friend Susan today but it’s going to be bad weather, torrential rains and high winds and flooding. Seeing Sue is my favorite day too.
I tried to take Ray out so he could do his morning ablutions. I put his down jacket and hood on but when we got into the lobby he refused to go out. He just gripped the ground.
I picked him up and put him down by a tree but he was too much of a pussy to pee. There is no way he felt any rain on him since he was covered from head to toe. He ran back in the building.
When we got back upstairs I tried again on the terrace. No go.
Then as if I wasn’t low enough, my health insurance person called for the 100’th time telling me that they want to schedule a home visit.
Now let me tell you how I feel about that. I like to let sleeping dogs lie (there seems to be a theme to this post). I don’t go looking for trouble.
If I feel fine I don’t want anybody (namely a doctor) lookin’ at me so they can find something I didn’t know I had. And don’t be writing to say stupid things like “early detection”. I ain’t interested.
But this guy wouldn’t let up. He even said if I let someone come I get a $25 gift certificate. I will admit the Jew in me perked up at that but then I realized that I’d have to use the 25 bucks to get TV in the intensive care room that I’d be in when they discover that I have some rare something.
I finally folded. I said they could send someone. I’m already sorry.
I don’t know what I was thinking. They said the person will be here for an hour. I hate people I don’t know. I’m going to be nervous and yapping and saying crazy things because that’s what I do when I’m nervous.
They said it would be a nurse and his name is Doug Something.
They want me to have all my medications ready. I don’t have any medications except my crazy pills and Doug’ll figure that out after 5 minutes of my Jimmy Durante impression. No need to see the pills.
It’s only 9:32 a.m. and my day already sucks.
How’s by you?