829. You can’t always get what you wa-ant…..But if you try sometime….

Whenever I go to Costco I am attracted to those Giant stuffed animals. I always pick them up and hug them. I put them back though because, well, I’m seventy.

A few weeks ago I was there with my sister when I saw a big bin filled with person sized Mickey and Minnie Mouses. I mean they were great. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them.

A few nights ago I was at David’s house, having cocktails, as you might have guessed, and I mentioned them to him.

“It’s a shame I’m so old because I still want toys. I love dolls and stuffed animals but I never actually wished I could purchase one until I saw those giant Mickeys and Minnies.”

David didn’t look away from the TV where he was watching “Rawhide” or something like it. He just said “Why didn’t you buy one?”

I was surprised at this.

“What would I do with it? Where would I put it?”

“You could just sit it in your living room on the couch or in a chair.”

“My living room is kind of formal. It would look silly.”

“It’s your house. You can put whatever you want in it. You live alone. Who do you have to impress?”

I wasn’t used to his being so encouraging. I gave it some thought. Then I felt a rush of happiness come over me.

“I’m getting one, maybe Mickey, maybe Minnie. At first I was sure I’d get Minnie because I’m a girl but, as I explained to David “If I get Mickey I can dance with him.” This brought me back to my childhood when my mother would let me dance with a raw turkey before she cooked it.

I have to admit that for the next few days I got glad any time I thought of it.

Then last night my bell rang at about 9:30 p.m. It was my super, his wife and his two children. They had a Christmas gift for me.

I had mentioned at the building Christmas party that as a new alcoholic I was really enjoying my vodka. Their gift was a bottle of Grey Goose. Tres snooty.

Their little boy, Christopher was so excited to be giving a present that he wanted to say something nice so he yelled “I miss you”. I guess that was the nicest thing he could think of saying.

I assured both kids that their gifts would be coming soon.

Lightbulb! I realized that I could kill two birds with one stone (I just realized what a disgusting saying that is).

This morning I rushed off to Costco to get presents for the kids and Mickey for me. I could barely contain my excitement.

But when I got there not only didn’t they have Mickey any more, they didn’t even have the giant bears which would have been second best but acceptable.

I got presents for my super’s kids and went home.

When I got in the car I called David. “There were no Mickeys or Minnies” I was really feeling low.

“So what.”

“You said it was a good idea. Were you just saying that to goof on me?”

“Of course I was, although I never thought that you’d take me seriously. How stupid would you have to be to buy a giant Mickey Mouse at your age?”

“Kinda stupid I guess”

(That’s what I said but what I was thinking was “Fuck you you fucking fuck. I’m getting me a giant soft stuffed  animal and I’m going to hug it and dance with it and you can shut your fat pie face”)


12 thoughts on “829. You can’t always get what you wa-ant…..But if you try sometime….

  1. Back in the day before I moved to the end of the world I was a Costco Shopper. I loved Costco. They had giant soft bears. My Uncle happened to be in the Veterans Hospital at the time so I bought him one. Every patient I passed was in awe of the bear. Is that for me? they would ask. Adult Veterans who had fought in horrible battles. Each time I went to visit I would take a couple of bears and when someone asked, Is that for me I said yes and put it in their lap or bed. Best Christmas I ever had.

  2. OOOH I love this one and yes you should get the giant stuffed animal or Mickey!!
    I know exactly what you mean about hugging them right in the store! Barry went to Costco this morning to get his & the boys favorite Holiday Beer Jubelale and they were out of it, he came back bummed.
    Love U – Teresa

  3. Ohh what a roller coaster. Wept with gladness then wept with sadness. (Is David bipolar or something?) Wondering if the Disney Store has what you want. It is your house, your life, get what you want! Hugs to you.

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