My phone rang at around 7:30 am.

It takes me awhile to answer because I have to take off my breathing machine mask ( I snore you know) and my mouth guard (How I never was able to get another husband is beside me).

It was my niece Stephanie.

She wanted to come down and bring me back to her house until this is over.

She said I would be safe and my dog could run around.

To be truthful the only thing about this is that I have tremendous guilt about my dog. I feel like she’d like to go out. But she is paper trained and I do have a terrace.

I think she just misses people to bite.

Everything else is pretty much like my regular life.

Lying like a lump, reading, watching TV and going on Amazon and ordering shit like this piece of crap that by the way crushes nothing.

I don’t know where they got that chopped garlic in the picture.

All mine did was flatten the cloves.

Anyway back to my conversation with Steph.

I explained that I was perfectly safe here.

Also you’ve seen the number of windows in the apartment buildings around me. How could I leave my fans?

Sure I’m risking my life but isn’t that what heroes do?

I’ve decided to limit my performances to twice a week.

Being Producer, Director, Writer and may I say “Talent” is taking it’s toll on me.

(I suspect that you know what I mean Mr Spike Lee.)

It will enable me to make the Extravaganzas greater and greater.

Plus it’s only a matter of time before that bitch in 19G runs out of liquids to pour on me so I can lose the umbrella.

I can’t even tell you how much better my tap dances will be when I can fling my arms around and snap my fingers.

Now your moment of zen