8. That bitch dyed his hair

I made sure I had plans the night he was coming home to sleep.

Unfortunately I got home before he did so I went over to Liz’ house I guess to hide. She and David asked me to stay over so I wouldn’t have to see him at all but I refused. I think it was because I wasn’t afraid to see him but I hope it wasn’t because I wanted to make sure he didn’t need anything.

When he walked in I was shocked to see that she had dyed his hair.

So much for “He can’t manage without me”

We mostly didn’t speak except for a few “Do you know where  my…. is?”

After awhile I asked what his plans are. “Will you be moving to Japan?”

He answered with that disbelieving look,

“Kawashima went apeshit when I suggested it. He said if I move there it will ruin my career.  I think that’s ridiculous. I’m Dave Matthews! I have the #1 big band and small group in Japan!”

I didn’t want to say it but ahem there’s a Dave Matthews that’s a little more famous than you are.

He added “Anyway things are a bit crazy now. ”

“With your girlfriend?” Although I knew her name then because I saw it on the bills American Express sent for her plane tickets, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.

“Yes” he answered “Her daughter is having a baby and first she wouldn’t let us come to visit unless we were married, now I’m persona non grata I don’t know why.”

“Oh all of a sudden they’re so moral? Her screwing a married man was ok with them though?”

He just shrugged and smiled.

I was actually thinking that spending time with a big star in first class hotels was one thing, coming to the USA and going on a 31 ft boat that keeps breaking down and following it up with a hotel with a shared bathroom was quite another thing.

“Well if you’re not moving to Japan right now what are your plans?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Well, I’m coming back here after the tour until February. I’ll sleep in the den”

I never asked what happens in February. I assume he and sluthead are going back to the boat.

“dave, you see how uncomfortable it is with you staying here.”

“We’ll get used to it”

It didn’t seem to occur to him that maybe I didn’t want to ‘get used to it’

I just said  “I don’t think so”

He looked at me in surprise and said practically in a whine “ But I have no place else to go”

Here’s the crazy part. My heart went out to him. I felt sorry for him.

I didn’t even think of saying any of the things that my sister and even my lawyer said when I told them about this:

“Ain’t my problem”

“You had to know that there would be consequences to getting a girlfriend”

or even my sister’s

“Tell your whore to take you in” or

“ Go fuck yourself you little shit!”

His suitcase was on the floor open. I noticed several packs of Marlboro in it.

“You smoke now?” I asked


backup plan #3.

The next morning just as he was leaving I said “When this is all over I never want to see your face or hear your voice again. If we keep the corporation and need to contact each other for work problems it will be by text or email”

This was the first negative thing I’d said since this whole thing started. He looked surprised but said once again

“I understand”

He left.

I breathed a sigh of relief. I had a month to think about what to do.

That night the phone rang at 2 a.m. It was dave.

“I landed safely. You can go back to sleep”

I just looked at the phone. Was he crazy?

The next day I got an email from him

if you want to hear a slightly disgusting, very embarrassing and bizarre ly hillarious story. i will tell it to you. i cant tell it to anybody else.

if you want you can put it in your blog. it certainly doesnt make me look very good but i think its very strangely funny

I had told him a week or so ago that I planned on writing a blog. Still my last words to him didn’t exactly encourage friendly contacts. I can only guess that the finality of what I said got to him. Using the term “I can’t tell it to anyone else” said a lot. I guess he realized that one of the things he was losing was a best friend. I didn’t answer the email.

As for the blog, When I told her several weeks ago my lawyer said that I can’t post it until all papers are signed.

I thought if I got his permission that might make it ok.

I sent him the following email:

Subject: can I have your permission

to write a blog about what I’m going through? It may not be that complimentary to you but you’ve always considered the laugh the important thing.

If I can, email me back stating that whatever I write is ok with you. I don’t want some shyster lawyer talking you into suing me later.


His answer:

I hereby officially and legally authorize you to write any thing about me that you want.

officially signed

The lawyer still suggested I wait to post it.

4 thoughts on “8. That bitch dyed his hair

  1. It’s really disturbing that you keep calling the other woman “slut”, “bitch”, and “whore”. What happened was unfortunate, but it reflects badly on you when you stoop to that level.

      • I am coming in so late on this, but her behavior is as unforgivable as his. Call her whatever you please. This is a riveting blog; one of the few islands in a sea of narcissistic navel gazing.

      • I’m coming in late here, but her behavior is quite as abominable as his. Call her what you please. (This is a lovely blog, an island in a sea of narcissistic navel gazing.)

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