After I playfully suggested on two of my posts that my life would improve dramatically if dave were to buy a pine condo I was surprised that a few of my blog followers seemed more than happy to oblige, some more creatively than others.

Miss Liz, the Emily Post of the western world, said quite rightly that it was improper of me to say that.

1. Because as my mother said when in the fourth grade I wrote William Lupatkin a love letter and used my sister’s lipstick to put a big kiss on the outside of the envelope, “Don’t ever put anything in writing”.

In that case the penalty was William’s mother being all creeped out and bringing the letter in to my teacher, Miss Liff, and demanding that she speak to my mother.

In this case that punishment may well be the chair.

2. I probably don’t want him to die. I’ve loved him for over 40 years and I don’t wish him harm.

Besides if he dies then he won’t suffer my real wish which is to never have another happy day with that craphead.