Remember the story about my dentist?
I heard his voice and knew I wanted to go to him.
Well when I took dave to the doctor for what I thought (and kinda hoped) was an end of life examination, the doctor and his nurses were so kind and familiar sounding that I said to myself if I ever can get myself to a doctor this is the place.
I am an unusual type of hypochondriac. No symptom I have is not terminal yet I rarely go to a doctor. I’ve never had a cough that wasn’t lung cancer or a headache that wasn’t a brain tumor.
I suffer from heart disease, high blood pressure, some kind of brain thing, Alzheimer’s, a serious joint something and strong symptoms of neck cancer. At least I think I do. I’ve never had any of this checked but I’m no dope. I can read a symptom as good as any doctor.
I can live with a great deal of pain because I’m more afraid of being told something bad and being scared than anything.
I’m fairly sure I once broke my hip because I fell on the ice twice in one day while walking Willa, Steph’s dog, and for a year I couldn’t turn over in bed without screaming How I held on to my husband for as long as I did I’ll never know.
My sister Marcia is always saying that she’d hate to be in my head. Like there’d be room for her there with all the tumors.
The point of all this is that I’m going to the doctor today. YIIIIIKESSSS
I can no longer ignore my symptoms of beri beri and even my go to medical advisor, my friend Susan is stymied.
I just want you all to know that this blog has been a blessing to me but if it’s as bad as I think it is you won’t hear from me again so this is good bye.
Oh my god you are so funny! You better turn this into some cash cow book because I cannot wait to turn the page!
Mattie, if you keep typing your blog you will certainly get Carpal Tunnel syndrome, maybe by tomorrow. I once had dengui fever, but it was actually an infection in my foot.
So…is this it? It’s a good way to go out, but I’m hoping you’ll be back.
Mattie, thank you for making me laugh out loud. Good luck with the Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease.