I just called the pension people to find out how to divide dave’s pension between us and how we can start taking the money.  dave says that whatever I decide to do with my half, he’ll do with his.

Now if I were a different kind of person I’d tell him that I’m investing my half in mood rings but as you might have already guessed I’m too much of a saint for that and besides if he lost all his money I’d probably end up giving him some of mine.

I’ve been told that at some point I have to stop telling people that I’ve been left after a long marriage and I know that’s true but sometimes it just greases the wheels. Especially with women.

The woman at the pension place, Becky, became way more attentive after I happened to mention in conversation that my husband had a girlfriend.

Like I said though, men aren’t that sympathetic. The guy from American Airlines wouldn’t budge and upgrade me even when I embellished the story slightly by claiming that dave tried to kill me with a sword.

From now on when I want something done and a man answers I’m going to slam the phone down and keep calling back until a woman picks up.