This was the most different Thanksgiving I’ve had in years.
Julie, her husband and daughter took me out to a fancy fancy dinner . It was wonderful.
The next day Julie and I had to drive up to Marcia’s house to pick up Julie’s dogs. They were supposed to be brought back to the City by Marcia and Paul on Thanksgiving eve but since they didn’t come we had to go get them.
For some reason they were no longer welcome. Since Marcia couldn’t walk them they made do in whatever way they could.
I for one can’t imagine why someone would put oriental rugs and hardwood floors above the happiness of 3 sweet and , may I say, “regular” puppies.
Anyway it’s always great to see my sister and brother in law so the 5 hour drive each way was more than worth it.
The drive up was fun because Julie and I could talk and talk.
The drive home the next day wasn’t as good..
One reason was that Julie keeps her dog Bea on her lap with Bea’s ass, a farting machine, aimed at me, the driver.
I kept asking Julie to turn her around but she refused because “Bea likes to face the window”.
The other reason was that dave sent me an email saying simply “Nu?” during the ride.
This is Yiddish for “What’s doing?”.
I’m assuming he meant with the papers for the pension or a million other details that I’m responsible for .
A week or two ago when my lawyer said I’d be divorced soon and that the pension would be separated after some details were ironed out I have to admit I was shocked.
I knew that a divorce was coming but hearing the word floored me. I just figured it would be a separation I guess, which is stupid.
Anyway the email upset me so much that I asked Julie to erase it so I wouldn’t have to see it. He usually writes me in a very business like manner. The playfulness of this made me want to throw up.
That night I had a dream that he hated me and his new album had a picture of his girlfriend and their newborn son on it. She was even holding a puppy.
Time to up the crazy pills.
Despite her semetic heritage Mattie should be granted sainthood. She clearly resembles St. Francis in her attitude towards animals, and has the patience of Job to boot. If a dog farted in my face my reaction would quite different than Mattie’s. If I was in a good mood and feeling charitable, I would quickly snap it’s neck, if not I’d hurl it out the window.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T
No matter how long it takes to settle everything and have a divorce granted, the finality of it all can still hit you like a ton of bricks. Sending you a big hug in advance and hoping it helps cushion the blow. Wouldn’t hurt to stock the liquor cabinet too.
Only David can manage to mention St. Francis and snapping a dog’s neck in the same paragraph.*
The last comment by VanillaBean is quite clever