My sister called and told me I’d better write something funny today because my last two posts were so sad.

Today’s the day I pay my bills so anything funny I want to write I’ll have to pull out of my ass. Not too much funny about paying bills.

Also it’s April Fool’s Day. There should be loads of hilarity going on in my house because good gags are my forte but I got nuthin’.

Although I did put a melon rind in with the recyclables in the trash room. I hope my super gets the joke.

I doubt that he will though. He’s kind of heavy handed when it  comes to humor.  About a year ago he was half heartedly hitting on a piece of my ceiling so that a new fixture would fit in and I told him not to be such a pussy, hit it already.

He really loved that. Every time I see him in  the hall he says “Remember what you called me that time?” and he screams with laughter.

I’m thinking the melon rind joke will go right over his head.

Actually it isn’t a joke time anyway. It’s a “put one over on a person time.”

My niece Julie once called her brother Matt and told him she was really scared because there was a goldfish in her toilet and she was afraid it came out of her. He spent awhile reassuring her before he realized what day it was.

Now that’s an April Fool’s joke. Maybe I should have put that melon rind in the toilet.