355. Remember last year when I used to be happnin’?

Steph called me this morning to regale me with all the April Fool’s tricks she pulled off yesterday. I feel kind of bad that I didn’t even try to take part in this, the holiest of holidays.

Miss Liz reminded me that I did do a pretty good one on her and David last year.

So by popular demand (mine) I will regale you with it so you can forget what a lame – o I was this year.

Liz and David were visiting her parents in Santa Fe.

On Sunday April 1, I sent an email to both of them. The Subject was “I hope you understand”

The email said:

dave and the woman have no place to stay tonight.

They’re leaving for Japan at 6 am.

There’s no way I can bear them sleeping in my house so I told them they can sleep on your couch.


It’s only for one night and I think he’ll be more agreable with the settlement if I help them.

Do you have sheets for the couch or should I use mine?


No sooner had I sent it then I got an email from David saying “Are you fucking kidding?”

and the phone rang.

It was Liz.

“Did you get my email?”

“Yes, I did. I wish you hadn’t sent it to David too. He’s going to go nuts. Are you saying that dave and his girlfriend will be staying on the 18th floor with you just across the hall?”

“Yes. I didn’t know how to say no”

“Mattie I will give you money for a hotel for them. You cannot do that”

“Liz, what’s today?”


“And what’s the date?”

“April 1″

“And what’s April 1?”
She thought for a minute and then screamed …..”Fuck you!!!” and then she started laughing uncontrollingly

(Liz never curses and she will kill me for quoting her but truth is my middle name. It’s Joan too but I use Truth mostly”)

This is an example of how they’ve both acted since the day I found out that my marriage was over.

I’m a lucky woman and watch out all you people. I’m already working on next year’s trick.I don’t want to give anything away but it has something to do with pigeons and the Supreme Court.

5 thoughts on “355. Remember last year when I used to be happnin’?

  1. You really got us on that one! And just to be clear, I was not worried about David going nuts per se, just going nuts on you. I was on pins and needles all day yesterday and was finally “had” by the local Italian restaurant last night when I ordered the “special.” The shrimp and scallops were not particularly fresh, and they neglected to mention the cappellini was green. I wish Allan and Susan had been there.

    • I hope no one in my family reads what happened to you last night meal wise. You know we take our food seriously. If they read this they’ll rush right down there and bring you home.
      Did I tell you about the time Allan sent back food from another table?

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