We have another member of the family.

My sister got a new knee.

I’m going up to see her in a few days. The reason I’m giving is that I want to help but really I want to hug her. I’ve been out of sorts lately. dave and I had a brief personal sentence in our email and unfortunately it’s been a setback for me.

It wasn’t anything. I only said in my note telling him what he can deduct on his taxes next year that I can’t believe that he’s a stranger to me now. he answered, “I know”.

For some reason I haven’t been the same since. My eyes keep filling up with tears. I don’t know why. It’s also brought back the bad dreams.

It’s funny but whenever I dream of him and his girlfriend they have children which is odd because they’re old. Well he is. I don’t know how old she is.

I think it’s just another way of my saying to myself that I failed him by not having kids.

This is getting way too deep.

I’m not going to answer my phone today because Stephanie always calls and yells at me when I write something sad.

What she doesn’t realize is that after I write it I can put it aside because I feel much better.

I just got a very happy thought. On my way back from my sister’s house I’m going to buy some rose bushes for my terrace.

And dare I get some peonies?

Yes I think I will.