Since dave has flown the coop and Liz is in Santa Fe I have become the man on the 18th floor.

I know, I know, you’re saying “What about David? He looks big and strong and he watches football.”

Well that’s the extent of his manliness (as far as I know).

I’m the one who fixes the TV, the cable and even carries stuff because of his weak arm. He keeps saying he has a weak arm.

He’s been complaining that there is no internet in his apartment for over a week. He also insists that his TV isn’t High Definition, even though it is.

Since I didn’t believe him about the HD TV until I tested it myself I didn’t do anything about it. After checking it I realize he’s right.

I’ve been on the phone with the cable company for days trying to get the internet working.

I was in his house climbing on a ladder testing the modem and the airport to see where the problem is. What is he doing during this?

Sitting on the couch with his eyes glued to the TV only looking my way, not to see if the old lady has fallen off the ladder, but to question how much longer it would take me because the noise was distracting.

I’m sure he would have held the ladder for me but, you know, the bad arm.

When I spoke to the cable company they agreed that the HDTV problem might well mean that he needs a new cable box.

I told David that I would bring the box to the cable company and exchange it even though I will have to take 2 buses and carry a heavy thing but in return he’d have to buy me a 3 course meal plus beverage.

Using one of his favorite expressions, he tried to “Jew me down” saying that three courses were  out of the question unless I got the HD AND the internet fixed.

Again speaking for you, my faithful reader, you are wondering why he doesn’t take the box back himself. Here’s why. He wouldn’t have the slightest idea what to say to the cable people about his problem. He doesn’t know the word modem, or even what kind of TV he has. Any question they asked him would leave him standing there ready to attack the heritage of the person who asked him the question so for the good of mankind I will handle it.

Speaking of handle, the handle on his toilet broke off. I have to wind this up so I can go over to Home Depot and buy a toilet kit and I can fix his toilet.