Me, “Hello”
Liz, “Whatcha doing?”
Me, “Watching “Person of Interest”
Liz, “Can you go over and fix David’s internet and bring him some Halloween candy?”
Me, “Done”
He was sitting on the couch watching the World Series when I got there. He glanced up at me, “This fuckin’ thing just stopped working.”
I hand him the vat of candy and check all the things that you check. Once again this means me climbing on a ladder and unplugging things and plugging them back up.
“I”m going to have to call Time Warner”
“Oh No” he says.
Now why this should be of any interest to him (I was going to write effect but I wasn’t sure whether it was affect or effect) since he had no intention of moving .
After two calls and another death defying climb the internet was restored.
“Call Liz and tell her it’s working” he actually looked annoyed that he had to peel his eyes from the TV but he did do it.
When she answered he said, “I got it working ”
“YOU??? YOU got it working? I’m the one who got it working. You are too stupid to fix anything”
He looked over at me “One should never equate wisdom with the ability to handle shit like this. Care for a drink?”
“Nah, see ya tomorrow”
He’s not that stupid. He got it fixed without leaving the couch AND he got some candy. He’ll be taking you to Le Cirque for that seven course dinner. Thanks xoxo
You’re right. He’s not the stupid one and I’ll get that dinner when the cows come home, or you do.