436. A fog story or why this is too boring to read.

During the night, my sleep machine went off.

I pressed the button to turn it on again and nothing.

I tell myself that it’s nothing to worry about. I’ll call them in the morning and tell them it’s broken.

Of course they’ll blame me and say I’m going to have to pay for it which I can’t possibly afford so I’ll have to do without it.

That can’t be good. Since I live my life like I have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel I’m sure that the loss of the sleep machine will definitely be the final nail in my fluffy coffin. I never get a headache. It’s always a brain tumor.

I finally fall back into a restless sleep.

I wake up a few hours later and look at the clock. Nothing. Also the cable light is off.

I went into the kitchen to check the fuse box. It’s fine but there are no lights in the kitchen either.

It must be a blackout.

Then I look in the hallway and it’s lit up. Maybe the building has an emergency generator.

By this time I know that  it’s 5 a.m. thanks to my iPad.

Since David is away visiting Liz I let myself into his apartment to see if he has lights. He does. While I was there I made myself some coffee (what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him) and went back home in a tizzy.

There could only be one solution. I live in a rent stabilized apartment and obviously the landlord wants me out so he can get a lot more rent. This is the first step in his reign of terror.

Woe is me. This couldn’t happen at a worse time. My nephew Eric (Yizhak) is coming from Israel today and his brothers are coming down to have dinner with him tomorrow. Then my niece Cheryl is coming to do all kinds of meetings for her new book and to hug and kiss me. After that my niece Randy who will be in town for one night.  I never get to spend one on one time with Randy so I’m really looking forward to it.

Then it will be Thanksgiving. I have 28 people and 6 dogs coming.

How can I do all that by candle light? Yitzhak will be easy. I’ll just tell him we celebrate a long Shabbas here but the others?

I’m walking around the house practically in tears.

Even though I know it’s useless, I call down to the doorman to tell him I have no electricity.

“You too?”

dave used to say that all sailor’s fog stories are the same, first they couldn’t see and then they could. That’s why they’re so boring.

Well first I didn’t have electricity and then I did.

3 thoughts on “436. A fog story or why this is too boring to read.

  1. you are too f-ing funny..but, you know, it all made sense to me!!! C a r o l F r e d e t t e w w w . c a r o l f r e d e t t e . c o m

  2. one also has to know the terror of a sleep machine going off!! Mine died–and I now sleep with a dirty fan—cause i can’t get to the blades which are black! C a r o l F r e d e t t e w w w . c a r o l f r e d e t t e . c o m

  3. Restless sleep sucks! You have a lot going on in November, sounds fun. Have a good time with Eric, I remember our trip to Costco around this time last year and what fun (for me that was), it was great to spend time with you both. 28 people and 6 dogs OY! How can I help??? Some wine maybe?
    Love you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s