I’m going up to my niece Stephanie’s house today.

My reason is threefold.

1. I adore Stephanie

2. She will help me pick out stuff for Elvis.

3. I am going to be staying there next week to take care of her animals and she wants to give me some last minute instructions. For example how to watch my favorite shows on TV while I’m there. Did I say TV? My mistake. THEY DON’T HAVE CABLE.

I digress.

When Steph and I discussed what we would be doing today she mentioned getting a manicure which seemed fine to me but at the end of the sentence she said “They do eyebrows too”.

I didn’t think much about this until about 4 a.m. when I said to myself, “Now why did she mention eyebrows?”

Then I got to thinking. Before I had my cataract operations I wore glasses all the time so I never did anything with my eyebrows. My glasses covered them and without my glasses I couldn’t see them.

Well my eyesight improvement was both a blessing and a curse. Sure I could see better but I saw things, like wrinkles that I couldn’t do much about. What I could do something about was my eyebrows.

I started putting eyebrow pencil on. To me it looked pretty good but I remember my mother thinking peds  with sandals were really happening. (Peds are those things they give you in shoe stores so when you try on shoes so you don’t give or get cooties.)

Are my eyebrows a joke? Do I look  “surprised” or “angry”? Why would Steph mention eyebrows?

I know it won’t be hard to get her to tell me. She can be cruelly direct.

Now that I think of it, that may not be a bad thing. I’m making a plea to my whole family. If you see me wearing something stupid please tell me before I go out in the world.

My job on this planet is to laugh at others. I will not like them laughing back.