774. Got hate mail? I’m your gal.

I don’t know if people that read my blog read the comments. I obviously read every one.

After my last post I received the following from one of my readers:

“Why did you title this, Jesus Hates Me? I like your writing, but I don’t read writers who are purposely offensive to God. So I am unfollowing you. I don’t wish you good luck. I wish you a soul and the humility to realize you are not God.  ”

One thing you may not know is that the first time I receive a comment from someone, I am given the choice of approving it for publishing at the bottom of my post or not.

When I read this I toyed with not approving it but the more I read it, the more I loved it. If she had stopped after “offensive to God” I would have disagreed (since I don’t feel that I was) but understood and actually felt bad that I hurt her.

The very beauty of speaking about God’s love and not wishing me good luck and claiming that I have no soul made this letter very dear to me.

I have always loved this kind of thing.

Many years ago dave wrote some disco songs, one of which was reviewed  by The Amsterdam News as sounding like a pornographic letter. dave and I kept that for years.

It also brought to mind a letter written in 1991 that I have kept on my wall over my desk until this very morning when I tried to scan it for you but it fell apart in the scanner so I’ll have to rewrite it .

First a bit of background. My sister Phyllis and I were walking our dogs when Phyl fell and broke her knee. My sister had just recovered, we hoped, with her second bout of cancer and this was devastating to both of us. I was sitting on the ground with her holding both dogs and waiting for an ambulance when I did what I always did, I called dave. He was at his copyist Emile’s office.  Emile’s secretary, I won’t say his name, answered the phone.

I told him I had to speak to dave immediately. He started joking around. “Now let me see, is he here or isn’t he?”

“Get dave. This is important”. He kept joking around until I started screaming at him.

The rest, you’ll see, is in the letter dated 4/19/91.

It is in formalspeak. He even printed my name and address on the top. The letter is in all capitals. Here goes,

DEAR MATTIE;

OVER THE PAST TWO YEARS OF WORKING IN EMILE’S OFFICE I HAVE TAKEN ENDLESS MESSAGES, WROTE LETTERS, TAKEN FAXES, CALLED MESSENGERS AND DONE MANY MANY OTHER FAVORS FOR DAVE. 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THESE FAVORS HAVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH BUSINESS RELATED TO EMILE’S OFFICE. BUT I DON’T MIND IN THE LEAST DOING THESE FAVORS FOR DAVE. IN FACT I FIND IT EXCITING & REWARDING(HOWEVER MUNDANE THE CHORES) TO BE INVOLVED IN HELPING A MUSICIAN THE CALIBER OF DAVE. I FIND HIS TALENT AMAZING IN ITS DEPTH, SCOPE & VARIETY.

ALSO OVER THE PAST 2 YEARS THERE HAS NEVER BEEN A CROSS WORD BETWEEN DAVE AND MYSELF OR YOU & MYSELF. OUR RELATIONS HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT CORDIAL & JOVIAL. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS SHOCKED , SURPRISED AND DEEPLY HURT WHEN YOU CALLED ME “AN INCREDIBLE ASSHOLE”. IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WANT CHANGED IN THE STYLE OR SUBSTANCE OF THE WAY I EXECUTE THESE ENDLESS FAVORS I DO FOR DAVE YOU CAN JUST COMMUNICATE IT IN A FRANK NON-INSULTING MANNER. I WILL BE VERY HAPPY TO ACCOMMODATE YOUR WISHES TO THE VERY BEST OF MY ABILITY.

I AM WILLING TO FORGIVE AND FORGET THIS UNPLEASANT INCIDENT, ALTHOUGH AN APOLOGY FROM  YOU WOULD NOT BE REJECTED OR INAPPROPRIATE. I TRUST THAT THIS WAS  JUST AN ISOLATED DISCORD IN AN OTHERWISE HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP.

YOURS TRULY,

Now I won’t go into much detail about how little I cared about the admiration this little shit had for dave but this guy worked for Emile who made a great deal of money from dave and his job was to make dave and the other arrangers that were in that office happy.

I can see this letter is still pissing me off but not enough to throw it away. I’m going to tape it up and put it back on the wall.

And by the way my relations with this little weasel were never “JOVIAL”

12 thoughts on “774. Got hate mail? I’m your gal.

  1. And when are you going to publish some of your wonderful “letters”? I read them any time I need a little pick-me-up or a giggle. xoxo

  2. Seems to me that you were able to rid yourself of two passive aggressive people and that’s a good thing. Mr. Asshole (Emile’s Secretary) and your unfollowed (somewhat pious, self-righteous) reader of yesterday, who by the way, needs to know that God loves those who bring joy and laughter to others.

  3. so “She” is God -can judge AND has the power to wish you a soul? How omnipotent of her. WWJD unfriend or unfollow?

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