776. The rich really do fart through silk

The other day I went to the memorial service for Liz’s father, Dr. Thomas Rees M.D.

Dr Tom was a force to be reckoned with. He was not only a brilliant plastic surgeon to regular people, really famous celebrities and politicians but as a young man he was in Africa on vacation, helped a Masai Warrior who was gored by a rhino and with two friends started the Flying Doctors bringing medical care to people who had never seen a doctor.

As a result of that the charity, AMREF exists today carrying on that wonderful work. It was truly inspiring hearing speakers who had been close to him and his wife, Nan, talk about how impressive he was as a man. I should add that Dr Tom and I were thick as thieves. He even slept at my house.

But that’s not what I want to talk about. I want to discuss the Metropolitan Club where the memorial took place.

When you go to their website and click on “History”, the story starts with:
On the evening of February 20, 1891, a group of distinguished gentlemen, prominent in the civic, commercial, financial, and social life of the City gathered together for an important purpose at the invitation of William Watts Sherman at the Knickerbocker Club – then at 319 Fifth Avenue, the northeast corner of 32nd Street. At this dinner were present Messrs. Samuel D. Babcock, George S. Bowdoin, Robert Goelet, George G. Haven, H. A. C. Tylor, William K. Vanderbilt, and William C. Whitney.

After dinner they were joined by Messrs. John L. Cadwalader, Charles Lanier, Cornelius Vanderbilt, James M. Waterbury, and proxies were on hand from the Messrs. Ogden Goelet, Louis L. Lorillard, J. Pierpont Morgan, James A. Roosevelt and Frank K. Sturgis. A meeting ensued at which the Articles of Affiliation were signed and the first officers duly elected, and The Metropolitan Club was formed – with J. Pierpont Morgan becoming the first President.

See any Goldbergs there?. No.

Which is why I spent a great deal of time selecting my outfit for this. Since I knew I’d have to “represent” I threw on my mother’s diamond earrings and other stuff thinking that they were sure to impress.

I’m going to go off on a bit of a tangent here. During my songwriting days, my co writer, Terry Silverlight and I wrote several what I thought were really good country songs. We sent them out to a load of Nashville people and nothing happened . The only singers who bought and recorded them were Japanese.

Then I started thinking that when I watch English TV shows that have an Englishman playing an American, it never sounds quite right which is probably why Travis Tritt didn’t like “The Girl In My Song” or “Last Call”

What I’m trying to say is that at that fancy ass club I was the only one dripping in diamonds and those women were really rich.

What that place lacked in jewelry it made up in snazz. Now this surprised me because through Liz I’ve been exposed to a lot of high toned places and was always surprised at how crappy they were.

When Liz took me to the beach club in Quogue I was shocked that it looked like the rec room in Camp Highmount whereas my parents beach club had fountains and sconces up the ass.

Not so this place. My man J.Pierpont knew how to load on the glitz. Except for when my nephew Matt took me to the White House I never saw a more ornate and beautiful setting and  the White House paled next to this.

I’m thinking that if Julie decides to give Violet a Bat Mitzvah, this might be  a nice place to plan the shindig after the service at the shul.

Of course you have to know someone who’s a member but that shouldn’t be a problem. I took names the other day and sidled up to a few of them  bigwigs and made their acquaintance. I’m thinking that when I call them on the horn and invite them to put on the feedbag ON ME they’ll be sure to grease the path to my family throwing a little business their way.

After all “Money Talks” as they say.

3 thoughts on “776. The rich really do fart through silk

  1. That club is from an era when WASPs really did run the world. I was born too late. I fear this country is well into decline. Sad really.

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