794. Why we should insist that Texas secede from the Union

I once wrote about David’s friend Ian who when he was meeting his son for dinner patted his pockets before leaving to make sure he had his glasses, his wallet and his switchblade.

David actually called me from the Dallas airport to tell me what he considered to be a hysterical story.

Ian and his brother were going to a wedding in Texas when Ian’s brother who was driving realized that he had a gun in his glove compartment.

His dismay wasn’t because he realized he must be a stupid jerk but it was based on his fear that since there was valet parking his gun might be stolen.

Ian suggested he remedy this by putting the gun in his back pocket and wearing it to the wedding.

His brother’s response “I can’t I already have one there”

So Ian wore  it for his brother so they were both “packing” for their friend’s nuptials.

There is so much wrong with this story, not the least of which is that David thought it was funny enough to make a long distance phone call to me about it.  Am I showing my age again?  Is “long distance” the same as “beauty parlor” and “pocketbook”?

I honestly believe that for the most part, in New York the majority of the people carrying guns for anything but hunting (and you can imagine how I love that) are criminals or nuts and those that aren’t would never think of bringing one to a wedding which is why New York is good and Texas is bad.

“The More You Know”

 

9 thoughts on “794. Why we should insist that Texas secede from the Union

  1. I realize you meant this simply as a humorous anecdote, but please don’t judge all Texans as “bad”. Yes, we unfortunately have some gun nuts. And, yes, we are burdened politically by Tea Party nut jobs and with Rick Perry, Ted Cruz, etc. But we’re not all bad. Some of us are even well-educated, card-carrying, anti-gun, tree-hugging, GMO-eschewing Liberals. 🙂

    I’ve lived in 3 different states & travelled to all of the 48 contiguous ones — and I can honestly say that Texas has some of the friendliest folks in the country. I can walk down my street, or into a restaurant or store, and almost always be met with a genuine smile and a “hello”. I can’t say that about many other places I’ve lived or visited.

      • Actually, I live just outside of Fort Worth. Although Fort Worth is proud of its cowboy heritage, the citizenry is by no means stereotypically “rube” (just as not all New Yorkers are stereotypically rude).

        Austin is nice to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there…..

      • Next time you visit FTW….if the heat didn’t scare you away, of course? Eat more jalapenos. Your mouth will be so on fire that you won’t care about the Hades-esque thermometer reading. Not to mention that you also then have an excellent reason to quaff copious quantities of margaritas. 🙂

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