820. Who am I?

Because I seem smart ( I use words like “formulaic), people are always asking my opinion on smart people’s stuff. I don’t like to disappoint them.

“Did you see what was on “Face The Nation”?”

“Sure did. Thank goodness that Senator spoke up”  (I’m sure there was a big mouth
Senator on yapping.)

“What about that piece on fracking”

“Good but formulaic” (See?)

The people that know me well know that my interests lie elsewhere and it confounds and annoys them.

For instance I watch every single one of the Housewife shows. In fact I love most reality shows, except for the snooty ones like “Top Chef”, mainly because it makes me hungry.

But my new addiction would push even my closest friends and relatives over the edge.

It’s “Love and Hip Hop Beverly Hills”.

Man them bitches are dope. I couldn’t believe it when Yung Berg was thrown off the show just for beating his ho senseless. How fake is that? I wasn’t down with that at all.

Maybe I’m beginning to understand why when Liz was here this week she put a smart person’s book on my Kindle. I think I’m starting to frighten her.

Liz being here was so great even if Rupert scared Ray to wits.

Poor Ray he got trapped behind a plant because Rupert fell asleep on the exit path and Ray was too scared to walk past him.

And Lizzie fell in love with my Israeli nephews. She was taken with how handsome, happy and smiley they all were.

She said she wanted to put the picture I took of them on my terrace on her Christmas card and write  “OY To The World and Peace on Earth” on the inside.

Traveling home with her 16 year old dog proved difficult though. The woman from the airlines was giving her so much trouble that she almost cried.

She was forced to say something very harsh (for Liz), “Who  peed on your Wheaties?”

I told her she should have threatened to cut the bitch.

Since she was bringing Rupert to New York with her she decided to try putting her Dad’s dog Oz into the very fancy and hands on kennel that her parents used so he wouldn’t be lonely.

Oz is a service dog. He was extremely expensive. He was supposed to help Liz’ father do lots of things that his arthritis made difficult.

Somebody should have told Oz. Absolutely the only thing he did was bring his plate up to the sink when he finished eating. That’s Oz’ plate, not Dr. Tom’s.

Well this skill turned out to be extremely popular at the kennel. The lady said that he not only brought his bowl into the kitchen but he went to all the other dog’s rooms and collected their bowls.

He enjoyed it so much that Liz had trouble getting him to come home.

busboy Oz

He might just be the most expensive busboy ever.

 

 

7 thoughts on “820. Who am I?

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