865. Don’t ask

OUCHY, OUCHAMAGOUCHA, IIIIEEEEEE, YOWZA!

Sorry, was I screaming aloud?

I have some arthritis in my knees, but that’s not why I’m crying ( I am crying, you know, add a few SOBs to the above)

My arthritis is not enough to incapacitate me but it can be uncomfortable on long walks.

When you live in NYC that’s how you get around, walking.  And even though I’ve suggested it, Ray seems totally unwilling to take himself around the block to do his business.

I’ve lived with this for awhile, taking an occasional Advil or 3, but I was wondering if there was some over the counter item that I could put on to make it a bit easier.

Being very computer literate I went right to Google to get some suggestions.

I did a light skimming on the subject and found that there were 3 different ingredients that would do the trick, some distracted you with the cold in their creams and others with the heat. Another one blocked the pain from traveling to your brain. I didn’t see any that actually cured but that wasn’t what I was looking for.

I immediately went to the drugstore. They only had a cream with one of the names that I wrote down from the internet.

Home I went to apply it.

At first it was fine. A few minutes later my knees felt like they had hot burning oil on them.

I jumped in the shower to wash it off and it only got worse.

Hence IIIIIEEEEEE!!!

I ran to the internet and read what they said a bit more carefully. It seems that the stuff I bought was  made from cayenne peppers, something I could have guessed when I rubbed my eyes and saw stars.

Oh yeah and it said don’t add water.

Just then Julie called.

I told her about my plight and read her what was written about the cream.

One of the things I read that I forgot said that the cream may “produce a sensation of hot or cold that may temporarily override your ability to feel your arthritis pain.”

“Wait a minute Jules, I’m thinking that this stuff works. I don’t feel my arthritis at all. The only feeling I have is that I’m being burnt alive.”

“Great”, Julie said “Next time just call me and I’ll hit you in the head with a hammer”

Sounds like a plan.

 

 

5 thoughts on “865. Don’t ask

  1. DMSO. You can buy it at a tack shop or vet supply place. It makes you smell like garlic and it really works on sore muscles and joints. Apply it with some gloves on, though, so your hands don’t smell garlicky, too.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s