It was a little after 7:30 this morning and my phone rang. I was up but still in bed.
“My God damn internet is out”
“David, it’s the crack of dawn.”
“I’ve been up for hours. My internet isn’t working.”
I know that David does a lot of business all over the world on the internet so this could be important.
“You want me to come over and fix it?”
“Yes” but he’s saying it like “Duh”
Ray has heard David’s voice over the phone so he’s twirling and hopping to the door.
I throw on some clothes and go down the hall. His door is open.
He’s sitting on the couch pressing the clicker over and over and cursing.
“This thing keeps going out. What’s the code for the wifi.” Now note that this is where HE lives.
I give him the code but it still doesn’t work.
“I’m going to have to climb up and restart the modem.”
I go get the step ladder. He’s 60 and I’m 71 with bad knees but neither one of us suggests that he should climb up and do this because 1. he’s a spazz and 2. even if he climbed up he would have no idea how to disconnect anything.
This doesn’t work either.
Then he gives me the information that his phone has wifi, it’s cable and internet he doesn’t have. So clearly it wasn’t a business thing. I’m wondering what’s so important that he couldn’t wait an hour or 2 to call me?
I drag the ladder over to the TV and restart the cable box. He is mumbling insults at me the entire time.
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. You’re gonna break the whole thing.”
The box restarts and the cable and internet go on perfectly.
“What do you say?” I ask him as I stand up to walk out.
“Thank you. Wait a minute. You gotta watch this.”
He goes on Netflicks and clicks on a documentary called “Dawg Fights”, Bare knuckle fighting in the slums of Miami.
I can say not one word to show my contempt. I just turn to leave.
As I get to the door I say ” I’m going to be out with Julie today from 2 to maybe 8. Will you look in on Ray?”
He doesn’t take his eyes off the screen.
“Can’t, I’ll be in and out”.
Mattie would you please use the correct terminology? It’s “extreme fighting” not “bare knuckle boxing .”Jeez!
Why in the name of all that’s holy do you bother with this useless piece of protoplasm?
Hey lady who pissed in your Wheaties?
Useless? That’s not totally true. One time he …. I was trying to think of something but I couldn’t.
He lives near me and Ray adores him.
And besides I provide a massive amount of material for this lame blog. So there!!
Since I’m completely committed to Ray, I’ll continue reading this blog. But I may need a cocktail.
David’s clever and articulate and i enjoy his comments!! Even when he’s mean cause I know what’s behind it!! I would appreciate him even more if he never again asks me if I know where Missouri is😀😀😀
David will love your comment
no more geography quizzes love…
I saw Julie’s wonderful pic of her and Dick Cavett! I hope you had a wonderful time and did ask him *the* question. Even though David said he’d be in and out all day and couldn’t, I know he looked in on Raymond while you were gone. How could he not!
I didn’t ask him.
David, did you look in on Ray?
Every 5 minutes…just ask him
David, you’e garbage.
Clearly I was lying
Now the few people that think you’re charming will hate you. I bet you’re happy