888. Wanted: A new friend

The time I spend with David is getting shorter and shorter.

We can be having a good conversation and he says something so heinous that I have to grab my dog (which isn’t always easy because he looooves David) and I leave.

Why just this morning we were sitting on his terrace really having a nice talk and I was thinking “This is why we’re friends”.

Then we get on the subject of Donald Trump and his insinuation that Megyn Kelly was “on the rag” .David laughs hysterically and says “He was right, Megyn Kelly was a bitch”.

I started to say”Because she called him out on his treatment of women who cross him?” but I realized there was no point.

I just stood up in a huff and said “C’mon Ray, we’re leaving”.

Naturally the little fucker stood there so I just walked out without him.

“You’d better take him or I’ll leave him in the hall” which he did a few minutes later. Luckily I left my door open so Ray came home.

You might think I’m a little thin skinned but before I actually made my exit he had already said the following.

“When I get to Texas next I’m going to do some hunting.”

“I would have been a good nazi but why stop at the Jews. What about Catholics and I’m not nuts about Lutherans.”

“In Germany the Jews did all the banking which is why the Germans blamed them for the fall of the economy” when I objected to his saying “That may or may not have been true” he said “If you ever read anything but mysteries and People you’d know something about European history.”

Now I know what you’re all saying.

Mattie, you’re so kind and beautiful and you know how to make black clothes look very “Now”. How can  you be friends with such a guy?

Here’s my answer PROXIMITY.

I’ve actually been friends with every person that lived in that apartment.

If he and Liz ever move out and the head of the Klan moves in, I give it a month and we’ll be playing mah jong together.


5 thoughts on “888. Wanted: A new friend

  1. YOU ARE A FUCKING SCREAM!!! fucking nazi cock sucker that he is….i’m sure he loves you, it’s HOW can YOU?????? Proximity-SHmoximity….. Feh! followed by F-ING FARTIC!! I think he’s a pretty nice guy, actually…but, you REALLY know the MOTHER FUCKER!!!! I repeat: FEH X2 MILLION! Except, you must know another side of him that is swell, i bet!

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