908. Back to the drawing board

An upsetting thing happened to me the other day.

As many of you know, I just returned from Italy.

While I was there I wrote copious notes and took pictures, some of which will surely fall in the iconic category.

i.e. the one of me faking my death after falling down the stairs (or step) in my hotel in Venice.

When I got back I wrote to Yahoo to ask if (when) I should submit a piece on my trip.

Since last year I won a prize for an article I wrote for them, I assumed it was a shoe in.

https://www.yahoo.com/travel/67-dumped-a-newly-solo-traveler-heads-to-rome-83655802141.html

Well I was wrong. they weren’t interested. It seems they claim that they only use in house writers now.

I gotta think that my career as a PRIZE WINNING travel writer is at an end. This is not terrible news since not only do I hate to travel but my dog hates me to travel.

So as the title of this post states “Back to the drawing board”.

Of course I have this blog but it’s not putting food in my matzo hole.

Therefore I’ll have to go back a bit further to see what path I could have taken but didn’t.

Then I can find where the pitfalls were that kept me from being a huge star. At that point I will see if I can revisit them with more success.

I wrote for a few sailing magazines but I don’t go sailing any more and anyway I hated it when I did.

I wrote liner notes and articles on dave or jazz for Japanese magazines but they were all in Japanese so I could never read them after they were printed so who knows what they said.

I had about 30 songs recorded but they were all for Japan and anyway I don’t know if they stunk because on many of them my husband was the producer so I was guaranteed a spot on those records.

Now that I think of it, most of my successes had dave as a common denominator.

Wait, there is one thing I did well that had no connection to him.

My friends and family used to call me when they were wronged and didn’t know how to respond in a way that would get their points across in a dignified manner.

Since I was always very successful at being mean and I had a gift for getting that meanness in writing I’d put pen to paper so that they could copy it and send it under their names.

After awhile I graduated to more poetic letters. Here are some examples:

Note: this was a long time ago so I’m not sure what each person’s transgression was.

In this letter I believe my nephew Brian didn’t get paid all he was due for a job

bryan5

I also came to the aid of Violet’s dad when he felt he was being misused at work.

kween

Actually the first one I wrote was for my nephew Barry who had some conflict with the Mayor of the small Oregon town that he lived in when the Mayor wanted to buy his house.

Barry is my oldest nephew. He’s a doctor and quite serious. I sent him the following letter and suggested he forward that letter to the Mayor.

If he had taken my advice the deal would have gone through without a hitch. Unfortunately he was too “classy”. I guess I don’t have to tell you that the Mayor passed on the house.

orig barry

As you can see I have an absolute gift for settling conflict. In many cases I lay out the problem, drop a minor threat and follow up with a little something to pierce their self confidence.

I’m thinking my future holds some kind of mediator job or maybe a nurse or a singer.

In either event, Yahoo!Travel better check their in-box for a letter.

I hear Academy Award winner, Meryl Streep has something to say to them.

13 thoughts on “908. Back to the drawing board

  1. While quite disturbing, these illustrations may suggest a new direction for your writing career. There exists a subset of deviants in society whose sexual fantasies involve scatology. Give that a try.

  2. I especially like the poopy part of your well crafted letters. I think you wrote a few letters for me. Wish they were illustrated! Ronnie

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

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