This day is not starting out well.

I have a bad cold. The sinus kind.

On my dog walk I bought 4 oranges from a street vendor, you know for my cold. The guy  threw 2 more oranges in so he wouldn’t have to give me change.

Don’t ask how heavy 6 oranges are when you have one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel.

And to make matters worse Ray wouldn’t make a right so I’m trying to drag him down the street with both arms coming out of the sockets, screaming at him.

“You’re not the boss of me”.

This turned out to be untrue. The little guy has feet like suction cups, so after making 4 lefts I finally aimed us towards h0me.

Yesterday was better. Julie and I went to our shrink. Not the talking one, the mental patient pills one.

She saw us together since she knows we have no secrets and she thinks we’re both a scream.

This puts somewhat of a burden on me. When we were in the elevator I said to Julie “Let’s pretend we don’t recognize her.”

I get a stony stare “You don’t have to work on a “bit”.

I say ok but I think this would go better if we got a few laughs.

I am first because I take less time. This is because I always lie to doctors.

I do this out of respect for their skill. If they’re at all competent I shouldn’t have to give them clues.

I usually talk fast so she’ll just give me my pills and I can let Julie take over but this time she slipped in a recommendation that I try Yoga.

See I told you. No clues yet she was able to determine that I needed “centering”.

I only deal with the best.

Is Yoga the thing where you get to say “Namaste”?

If so I’m in but only if she comes to my house. Ray doesn’t like it when I go out.