1015. How to select, feed and train your pet.

As many of you know (since I’ve been whining about it for 5 years) I am divorced, dropped like a hot potato, at liberty.

Although my finances are not terrible, they are not what they once were.

It is for that reason I’ve decided to go into my second act so to speak and add to the coffers.

What to do? What to do?

First where do my talents lie?

When I was a social worker in the South Bronx I once tap danced from the Intake section back to my desk to raves from my fellow workers. It’s been awhile but I could brush up on that.

Singing? I could do that but I think the kids are into the rap so a hit record would be really hard since I mostly know celtic dirges. I do yodel though so I’ll keep that on the back burner.

Then I thought “Hey my niece Julie Klam has made quite a name for herself writing dog books, “You Had Me At Woof” etc.” and it hit me.

I can train dogs.

I know I have a knack for that and who’s to say that I couldn’t follow it up with a book or a video??

So my dear readers here are a few of the tips that I’ve picked up in owning many dogs and one cat some of which will be included in my teachings.

I had some birds too but one of them fell in the bathtub so I think the less said about that well…

  1. SELECTION

Get a pet that isn’t passive. You know one with a backbone.

I have found that saving them from being bullied can be embarrassing to the pet and yourself.

squish

disrespect

What you want is a pet that is assertive . One with chutzpah.

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My dog Debby showed the Super who’s boss while he fixed our sink.

 

2. STYLE

I’ve always found that if your pet is stylish the world is his/hers.

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3. BATHING

I’ve heard many people complain that it’s difficult to wash cats.  That may be true in the olden days but now we have modern conveniences,

dishwasher

Just remember to click on light wash.

4. INTELLIGENCE

There are animals that are more intelligent than others.  For example did you know that many cats can read?

computer

5 RELIGION

I’ve found that giving your pet a strong religious background can definitely be a plus.

yarmulke

I’m Jewish but you are free to raise your pet to follow whatever God you pray to.

5. EXCERCISE

Say you don’t feel like going out yet your dog looks at you like “Hey I need some sunshine”

I find that finding a sunny spot where they can get a tan and do some calisthenics can get them off your back.

stretch

6. FEEDING

They will let you know when they are hungry…

ray lunch

and if they are pleased or displeased with what you’re serving them.

mad dog

Dogs aren’t stupid. Give’m a bit of leeway and you’ll find that they can fend for themselves.

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To sum it all up. With a little thought and discipline you’ll end up with great watch dogs.

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See how good these two watch?

4 thoughts on “1015. How to select, feed and train your pet.

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