12. That Ship Has Sailed

I went away for a few days with my family and when I came back I came to a conclusion.

Living with an enemy is horrible. I have faced what’s happening. It is what it is but if he’s going to be here for any length of time, we have to make some reasonable arrangement.

Liz and I were planning to go out to dinner . I looked at dave. He looked so lonely.  I asked him to go too. I checked with Liz first and she reluctantly said ok.

We went to the Indian restaurant on the block. He had already been drinking and ordered a martini when we sat down.

When the food came he didn’t touch it. He just talked about his tour and how successful it was. Liz, always the lady listened attentively. I didn’t even pretend to pay attention. He made a few snotty remarks like “I guess you couldn’t care less”

I didn’t respond.

He barely touched his food and even appeared to be sleeping at one point. He claimed that it was jet lag.

Clearly not buying this Liz said “Sure, after a week”

We packed up the food and went home.

Under normal situations I would have taken his arm and helped him out. This time I just got up and left.

Unfortunately poor Liz had to help him and make sure he didn’t fall into anyone’s table.

All I could think was “Soon this will be in my past.”

When we got home I said “How can you be angry at me for not being interested in a tour that you went on with your girlfriend?”

He said “I was being an asshole” and went into his room and went to bed.

The next evening he seemed ok.

We were preparing for the Hurricane.

I told him I’d make dinner that night and he could watch tv with me.

At cocktail hour Liz and David told me to come over alone.

At first I hesitated but I realized I have to fight my need to take care of dave. As I was leaving dave said “Am I not welcome?”

I felt terrible but I stood firm “I’m sorry but no. I’ll be back for dinner”

When I returned it was actually a friendly meal. We talked, rather formally but pleasantly and then we went into my room and sat in our side by side lazy boys and watched tv.

He said “Under the circumstances you are being very kind to me and I appreciate it.”

“It doesn’t change the way I feel about you” I told him “ but it’s too unpleasant living in a state of anger”

Then he said something really odd. “You’ve always been so open and honest and now I can be honest so I feel we’re even closer .”

Once again he didn’t consider me. Now that he’s being honest instead of a lying fuck I felt totally different towards him. I loved and felt closer to who I thought he was.  Honesty is way overrated.

We followed the oncoming hurricane and then went to our respective beds.

The next morning he was sleeping and I was making coffee when Rupert scratched on my door.

I let him in and Liz said come on over for coffee. I sat there for about a half hour and watched the hurricane reports and then I stood up to go home. David said “Where are you going?”

I told him “Home”

He said “Why?”

I said “ I don’t want to over stay my welcome”

He responded “That ship has sailed so long ago I can’t even spot it in the distance”

I sat down. Clearly he loves me.

3 thoughts on “12. That Ship Has Sailed

  1. When steeled for the worst, we sometimes encounter the best in ourselves. This blog is breathing proof that the best is yet to come, because of who you have always been. For someone who doesn’t like sailing, you certainly are the strongest ship in the sea. What a heart wrenching, honest and hope-filledl blog! Thank-you, Mattie!!

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