The night before last my niece Stephanie came down to visit with Cheryl who is up from Annapolis.

Now these two girls couldn’t be more different.

Cheryl sees the glass half full. Steph sees it half empty with a rat in it.

Cheryl is a people pleaser. Steph, not so much.

Cheryl takes every opportunity to tell her husband and children how much she loves them and how great they are.

Steph brags about what a talented architect her husband is but won’t tell him because if she does he’ll get  “all full of himself”.

It also annoys her that he wakes up happy every day.  “Hear that? It’s him whistling”

The only similarity is that they both way underestimate how good looking they are. Cheryl tries to buy her entire wardrobe in Target and even though she is built like a movie star she wears her clothes so big you’d never know it.

When Steph said she was coming down she asked if she absolutely had to take a shower. If you tell her she’s beautiful she gives you an annoyed look and begins to tell you all her flaws

Now these two really like each other. Stephanie has said if Cheryl lived closer she’d make her her best friend and not just because she can make her do whatever she wants.

Another thing they both agree on is that I’m not being mean enough to dave.

Stephanie is afraid I’ll take him back and the whole family will be forced to be nice to him.

She also thinks I should join a divorce group to work out what I’m really feeling so I can hate him properly.

The thought of that makes me sick. The idea of listening to a bunch of losers whine about how they did everything right and their husband/wife did everything wrong sound like torture. (Hey!  That’s what you people are doing. Forget I said that)

Cheryl just wants to beat the crap out of him. There is a little iron under that people pleaser facade.

Last night I was out to dinner with Cheryl and Liz.

I had been feeling pretty good since dave left.

During dinner I got an email from him saying that he had wanted to update his web page. “I think there’s a pink post-it on my computer. I know the password but I can’t remember the user name.  Could you do me a solid? thanks, dave”

I wrote back that Cheryl, Liz and I were at Isle of Capri and I’d check when I got home.

“What are you doing?” both girls said almost at once. “You don’t have to answer him as soon as he asks. You don’t have to answer him at all”

I knew why I did though. This was his favorite restaurant and he loved both girls. Even though I swear I don’t want him back, I want him to see what he’s missing. (even I know how lame that sounds)

Anyway last night I had a bad dream that I lost my car months ago and I was nervous about telling my father that  I had parked it in a bad neighborhood and I hadn’t told anyone that it was missing.

Oh Freud!!