57. Say I want another drink without anyone giving me the stinkeye?

So I went on twitter.

Some things about it I get. I saw a picture of a cat pulling a toy from room to room. I liked that.

I read an article by David Pogue that was very useful plus I know him personally (although when I saw him in the street it was news to him) and he’s the sweetest kindest guy (aside from his lousy memory).

You make contact with people that read your blog. I like that.

What I don’t like. 1. It’s addictive. 2. I only have a limited amount of creativity and I save it for my blog. 3. It’s addictive. 4. I’m scared that if I don’t write more often twittles, or whatever they’re called, will be mad at me. 5. It’s addictive

I’m going to Montauk today.

I have good friends who will be out there in their own house.

I will be staying in my house alone. They always ask me to stay with them but I can’t do that. I do get a little scared but that’s one of the things I’ll have to get used to.

Another thing is being a woman alone with a couple.

I’ve been in that position before but only when dave was on tour so it was a temporary thing. At that time I never minded if the other man paid for me. dave always paid for any female friend that ate with us. But this is different.

This is a permanent situation. I must always insist on paying for myself in order to feel like an entity. I’m not sure that’s the right word but it feels right to me.

There are so many little kinks to my situation that I never thought of.

But I’m learning.

6 thoughts on “57. Say I want another drink without anyone giving me the stinkeye?

  1. You may not believe it now but after a while it begins to feel good – the paying for yourself and feeling/being and being seen as an independent woman. When I was unsure of myself I always had a pair of short riding boots I wore that made me a little taller (I know I know) and walk more confidently – sounds silly but made me feel that way.
    love to you

  2. I have another idea. If it’s a threesome I understand your feelings because I have been divorced or separated and the odd man out IN A WAY for over 11 years now. There is a saying that in order to be truly generous you have to be able to accept generosity. So my idea in a threesome that regularly invites you out is to allow them to pick the check up sometimes and you pick it up sometimes. It winds up the same but somehow it feels better (to me at least) because I always love picking up a check, as do most people, but its actually really gracious to allow someone to pick up a check for you. This is all just my opinion and also my honest spiritual feelings about this. Where it’s really hard for me is when I’m invited to a big dinner party year after year like Paisach or breaking the fast or Rosh Hashanah meals and I can’t reciprocate with a meal in my own home because I can’t cook for a group in a studio apartment (or at all very well)and can’t presently afford what I would consider a really good meal for 10 or 12 or more people in a restaurant of high quality. So I always feel awkward a little not being able to reciprocate for people that invite me into their home…..When I was married I would buy the food of course and Emily would cook.

  3. I would suggest letting the guy pay, it makes us Y-gene holders feel good, but every so often invite the couple out for a meal and pay for both then.

    No friend keeps score of who pays more oodten.

  4. Mattie, you sound like an incredible woman. I can’t believe anyone left you, but alas, someone did.

    Something tells me you’ll land on your feet, and will be surrounded by people who will never leave you.

    Enjoy your time in Montauk, and tweet or blog if you want to, or don’t if you don’t want to. Oh, and if somebody else’s husband wants to buy you a meal, don’t have dessert. You’ll feel better about that.

  5. I find I’m totally fine with being the 3rd/5th/7th wheel with couple friends. There’s a few of them who are not comfortable with it though…. one friend keeps asking me if I’m ok during dinner. (ugh!) But that’s her baggage….

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