I woke up this morning to the news that some guy tried to bury his fiance alive and she had to use her engagement ring to dig herself out.

Then I remembered that when I was about 17 I had a blind date who clearly had a drinking problem.This was before MADD.  he kept stopping the car and going into bars and coming out acting like everything was fine.(no capital h for him either)

Even then I had no trouble speaking my mind and I was yapping and yapping about how rude he was being and who did he think he was and ordered him to take me home immediately.

he finally did .

he came to an abrupt stop across the street from my house. Still reprimanding him I got out of the car and haughtily started walking towards my door.

I can’t say for sure but I imagine that at this point he decided that not only did he not want to go out with me again but nobody should have to go out with me again because I was half way across the street when I heard a screeching sound. he had put his car in reverse and gunned it.

Luckily I was fleet of foot and made it to the curb before he could reach me.

I waited until I couldn’t hear his car any more before I went into the street to retrieve my pump that I had lost in my leap to safety.

Wouldn’t you know it had tire marks on it which ruined a perfectly good pair of black Capezios.

After that I figured that any date that left me alive was a success.