My new year’s eve activities:
Liz and David got their evening cancelled at the last minute because their friend Ian’s son got sick.
Since those plans were no more, rather than cook we went out to our favorite new chinese restaurant next door, Land of Plenty. We really had fun.
Although I intended to pay for myself, Liz forced David to pay for me which he reluctantly agreed to do at first but then became a real mensch when we got there. He just told the waiter “We’re not going to order, just surprise us”.
I’m not sure I’d order owl or turkey beaks cooked in fig newtons again but it did make the evening memorable. And snake for dessert can’t be beat.
Of course he did have to fake a recurrence of his back pain after hearing that the first restaurant we picked was charging $46 for a chop.
The thing I love about him is that he accepts himself totally. When Liz and I accused him of faking it he just laughed. You can’t hurt this guy’s feelings.
Anyway we were in really good spirits when we got home. Both Liz and I had more to drink than we should have and we both wanted to go right to bed.
David was in a real happy mood and was begging us to continue the party with some champagne. He kept insisting that even if I passed out on the way home (One door down) no one would mind if I slept it off on the floor in the hall until morning.
Anyway I went home. In very good spirits. Until..
I got an email from dave saying “Happy New Year. I truly wish you a good new year. dave”
I ran right back to Liz and David’s house. I have to admit it made me cry.
I could give a million reasons why. It’s impersonal, any contact with him is painful. he’s spending his new years eve with her, it sounded like a final good bye. Whatever.
I sat around with Liz and David feeling sorry for me for awhile and then I went home. As I was leaving David said to me. “If you get sad, come back”. Actually he slurred it but the sweet thought was there. ( He hates if I write anything nice about him)
After I got home I started thinking, poor dave, he was damned if he did and damned if he didn’t. He knew writing to me was a risk but if he let the new year begin without a word he would be deemed a heartless prick.
Nothing he could have written short of begging me to take him back would have been greeted kindly and though he probably doesn’t know it, that wouldn’t have been so good either.
Anyway the evening started on a happy note and ended a little sadly for me UNTIL…
A few minutes before midnight my phone rang and it was Lew Soloff wishing me a happy new year and telling me he loves me.
I went to sleep with a smile on my face.
67 and dumped 
Happy New Year, Mattie. You are a sparkly gem.
Happy New Year to you too, Kathleen
xxm
Happy New Year, hope this one is the best of your life:-)
thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I hope yours is too.
xxm
Happy New Year, Mattie. Here’s hoping that 2012 brings you healing and happiness. And isn’t Lew Soloff just THE BEST?
He really is.
I really hope the same for you. Your road is much harder. Remember, Mary, Ronnie and I would love to have lunch or dinner with you. We can make fun of the people at the other tables. Just let us know when you feel like it. Luckily my calendar is open until, say, November.
My classes resume on Jan. 17, so some time over the next couple of weeks would be good for me. Friday afternoons I’m usually with my writing group, but any other time should work. Why don’t you check with Ronnie and see what she’s up to? I’d love to see you both.
david is torturing you. he’s mean & feels guilty. .he thinks wishing you a happy new year can assuage his guilt.
I really don’t think he’s mean. I do think he feels guilty.
It doesn’t really matter. I realize that I have to cut him out of my life totally. Every contact is negative for me.
It keeps getting better for me tho. I just have to realize that in time I’ll be fine.
I love you, Barbara.
How can you possibly think he’s “not mean”???????? Hello????
I think he’s selfish but do I think he’s mean? No.
He truly wishes I could be happy.
Does he put his needs first?
Definitely.
Mattie, I hope 2012 is a better year for you. Actually, I hope this is the year that you find inner peace and happiness. I agree that all contact with dave should be halted. Every time you hear from him, it seems to open up the wound.
I hope you will heal and get to the place where the only feelings you have for him are indifference.
Our time on earth is short, and there is no room in that time for angst and pain. I’m sure he feels guilty about his actions, but frankly, that’s his problem. It’s not your job to take away his guilt.
I say, focus on yourself, your friends, and your family this year. Screw the rest.
Happy New Year, Mattie.
You’re absolutely right.
The problem is I can only move as fast as I can move.
2 things you said did hit home. Our time on earth is short, I don’t want to waste it.
And his guilt isn’t my problem.
Thank you Aislinn for all your support and kind thoughts.
mattie