The other day my sister asked me if I’ll change my name after my divorce.
It never occurred to me.
I was Mattie Matthews longer than I was Mattie Smith and Mattie Matthews is such a cute name. Kinda like a stripper.
But, I started thinking, I don’t like dave any more. Maybe I still love him but I really don’t like him.
I was always so proud of him. One of the first things that came to mind when I thought of dave was his sense of honor. I would have bet my life on it. I used to brag that I married someone like my father.
When he gave his word it was his bond.
I loved this about him even though I have to admit that at times it would make me angry because he’d be pressured into agreeing to something by his japanese partner, Kawashima, that ended up not being fair to him or his musicians.
In spite of this he would never go back on it because he gave his word. Even though if it were reversed, Kawashima would and has changed the deal in a second.
Now that I find that dave’s been lying to me for I don’t know how long I feel like a jerk.
He says even now that I can trust him but how can I?
Anyway back to my name.
Here’s another thing I was thinking. When I get divorced even if I keep the name Matthews I won’t be Mrs.
What will I be? Miss? that doesn’t seem right.
That just reminded me. When I was a little girl I asked my father what his title was at his job and he said “Emperor”
That pretty much means I can call myself anything I want with my daddy’s blessing and he WAS the man I thought he was.